Sorry I missed my usual write up of Rampage, again! A horrid bug ripped through my household, first my daughter and then me. I did not feel up to writing! I did watch the episode, but I don’t recall it. Anyway, we are better now and it’s Wednesday night! You know what that means. (It’s time for Dynamite, if you don’t know what that means)
Jeeoooooooooooooooon MOXLEY! He’s back! Everyone is coming back. It’s been a minute since we’ve seen Mox, I think his last appearance was around October before he withdrew himself from the company to get sober.
It took all of 3 seconds before he told a fan to “go fuck himself”. I guess he hasn’t changed that much. He thanked the fans who stood by him and had some less kind words for those that didn’t. These days, all he drinks is blood. His words, not mine. It’ll be good to see him get back to work and I hope he is at his best. Welcome back!
MJF is backstage and said that Punk only won because he cheated and because Wardlow is inexperienced in the ring. MJF then apologised to his friend Wardlow for losing his cool last week, before proceeding to dock Wardlow’s pay, as a punishment for laying his hands on him. Happy birthday, big fella.
It’s time for the mixed tag team match. The power couple of wrestling, Adam Cole (Bay-Bay!) and Dr. Britt Baker, DMD are uniting in the ring to take on Orange Cassidy and Kris Statlander. Unfortunately, it isn’t an inter gender match, so Kris has to face Britt and Adam has to face Orange. Boo!
That didn’t stop Baker from stepping up to Cassidy though. Not that anything happened between them. It also didn’t stop Kris from stepping up to Adam. Again, nothing happened.
Just stepping away from the match for a moment, because there is a fan sign I need to talk about. It’s double sided. One side says “Darby Allen” and the other says “Freshly Sqeezed”. It should be “Allin” and obviously, “Squeezed”. Points for trying.
Adam and Baker set up a table to try and put Cassidy through it. Unfortunately, it backfired on them and Cassidy inadvertently put Baker through the table instead. An enraged Adam Cole then went to beat down Cassidy and win the match. He was in no mood for celebrating though, and went to check on his wife.
Marves is backstage with the Inner Circle, minus Hager and Guevara. Jericho told Kingston to go “F” himself, but before he could continue he was interrupted by Santana. Santana told him to watch what he says about Kingston, because even if Jericho doesn’t care for him, Santana and Ortiz do.
Santana continued to say that maybe Kingston was right, and Jericho is the reason that the duo doesn’t hold any tag team gold. Santana said that next week they will prove that they don’t need Jericho and will focus on themselves, rather than him.
Marves is working overtime, now he has Adam Cole. Never mind, he got to clock out early because Cole told him to get lost. Cole challenged Cassidy to a Lights Out match next week on Beach Break. Cool!
Punker is in action next, against the Chairman, Shawn Spears. Is there any point in hoping that Spears wins?
Well that sucked. Spears lost in about 10 seconds flat. Boo! I hate it when talent is treated like jobbers. Especially to put an old head over. MJF and Punk met in the ring after that, but nothing much happened.
Speaking of old heads, Billy Gunn has taken a camera to go and meet with Christian Cage. Gunn suggests that his kids should get a title shot against Jurassic Express. Cage said no, and then was beaten down by the three of them.
Back to the ring and the stadium is echoing with “boo”. I guess Cody is back! For some reason, Cody came out and started looking under the ring. Eventually, he pulled out a ladder. Oooo! A ladder match to unify the TNT Championship?
Cody started talking, but I was distracted by fans chanting “shut the fuck up”. It was something about the pipe bomb promo. The chant was replaced by a “Cody Sucks”. Cody started to yell and for a second, I thought he was going to turn heel, but alas no. He just went back to the “I will never turn heel” speech.
Eventually the Cody fans started chanting his name to support him. The more he spoke, the more it seemed he was winning the crowd over. I’ll give him credit, he always manages to be interesting.
After a while, it came back to the ladder and the unifying match. Beach Break! It’s shaping up to be a good show! A lights out match and a ladder match! Is it my birthday?
Schiavone has the TBS Champion, Jade Cargill and it has been announced that Anna Jay will be the first challenger for the belt.
AEW’s newest tag team, the House of Black came out to tremendous applause from the audience. Malakai Black and Brodie King will be taking on the Varsity Blonds.
Things didn’t go well for the Varsity Blonds. Pillman Jr. seemed to be lacking in confidence and doubting himself, which lead to a quick victory for the House of Black.
The jumbotron turned on, and a blindfolded Pac appeared. Pac promised to make a man of Malakai.
Jake Roberts, Lance Archer and Dan Lambert took aim at Hangman once more. Hangman was happy to oblige and offered a title shot to Archer.
Frankie Kazarian is next up, in singles action and will be facing off against Lance Archer. It didn’t go very well for the heavy metal rebel. He made Archer work for it, but it was a win for Archer nonetheless.
Archer continued to beat down on Frankie for a while, until Hangman came out to make the save. The two got into it for a while, but Hangman was the last man standing.
Marves is backstage again, this time with Martin, Sydal and Moriarty. They just kissed each others asses a little bit. Ricky Starks and Will Hobbs let ‘em know that they are still coming for them.
Leyla Hirsch seemed really happy to mock Statlander over her loss earlier tonight. Red Velvet tried to intervene, but Hirsch told her to shut it. Yeah! Then she punched her! Hell yeah! For the first time, I really like Hirsch. Unfortunately, Statlander was also attacked, but you gotta take the good with the bad.
Serena Deeb continued her hot streak, picking up a relatively easy win over Skye Blue.
Ethan Page is ready and willing to square off with Jon Moxley this week on Rampage. Also on Rampage, Rocky Romero and Trent will take on the Young Bucks. Hook will battle Serpentico in a singles match. And the TBS title match between Jade and Anna.
Sammy did a very, very long promo with his signs. I swear it must have been close to 50 cue cards long. The point is, he is backing himself against Cody.
It looks like Andrade and Matt Hardy have come to terms on a business deal. From now on, the HFO will be known as the AHFO. The merger is official.
Main event time! The greatest tag team of all time, The Acclaimed are taking on Sting and Darby Allin. The Acclaimed wasted no time kicking this off, starting before the bell rang. They pretty successfully eliminated Darby from the match, after smacking him in the throat with a chair.
The doctors removed Allin from the ring, and Sting agreed to an impromptu handicap match. Things were going pretty well for The Acclaimed. Until Darby came back. Dang it, I was really hoping that they would win.
We lost our second timekeepers table of the evening, with Sting driving Caster through it. A coffin drop later, and it was all over for Bowens. Boo!