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Wrestling

AEW Rampage : December 17th

Wait a second. Rampage is every Friday at midnight, right? Doesn’t that technically mean Rampage is on Saturday? Woah. I need to sit down.

I’m pretty tired, so this is a convenient episode for me. Lots of multi man tag matches, which are always a clusterfuck. The action is always hard to keep up with, so it’s gonna be an easy night for me.

We’ll start with the 8 man tag match : Bobby Fish, Adam Cole (Bay Bay!) and the Young Bucks will take on Trent?, Chucky T, Rocky Romero and Orange Cassidy.

Apparently we aren’t doing the “?” with Trent anymore, we are allowed to know his last name again. That’s good, because I never forgot. Trent Beretta! Excalibur is doing his best to wear the name out, I swear he has already said “Trent Beretta” 100 times and the match hasn’t even started yet.

You all know how sick I am of the Cassidy gimmick, but it was very impressive when he did the tight rope walk. And amusing when he pretended to lose his balance. I’m so over the hands in the pockets though. Now I know how my Dad felt when I was a teenager.

Excalibur pointed out how risky it is for Trent Beretta to wrestle after a neck injury. I wonder if Miro and Trent Beretta will have a feud about who has the weakest neck?

It was absolutely awesome to see Trent (Beretta) back in action, and it was even better to see him get the W for his team. Hopefully Trent and Chucky get back in the rankings.

Oh Christ, it’s Dan Lambert. I’ll try to stay awake. His voice is noticeably less squeaky. That’s a plus. Oops. I’ve zoned out already. Something about hating Tony Khan I think. And here comes Cody. I guess the only way to get the fans to cheer for him is to pit him against Lambert. It didn’t even work! The fans just booed them both. What a laugh.

Holy crap, this sucks. Cody and Dan just took it in turns snatching the microphone from one another. Eventually it came to blows with the Men of the Year. Dustin came out to even the odds. (Hey remember, my brother is a legend, please cheer for me). Nope, still not cheering, send in Sammy Guevara. Finally, unanimous cheers.

Who do you think will win the TBS championship? We got 4 left, Ruby Soho, Nyla Rose, Thunder Rosa and Jade. I hope it’s Nyla or Rosa. Nyla is actually very funny when she cuts promos. It should happen more.

Submission match time! This one should actually be very dope. Penelope Ford vs Tay Conti. No pinfalls, win via submission only.

It was pretty enjoyable. It was nice to see Penelope show off some of her technical ability as well. Obviously, Conti won. It was a very enjoyable bout. After the fight, The Bunny jumped Tay, but it was quickly broken up by Anna Jay.

Mark Henry is backstage and is asking the same questions he always asks. I swear he has already asked Garcia why he hates Eddie Kingston. I really hate these pointless interviews. So does Kingston apparently. Let’s get this done. It’s time for a commercial break the Main Event!

It’s a 10 man tag. Eddie Kingston, the Lucha Bros, Santana and Ortiz. P&P had their faces painted in white. They always do damage when their faces are painted. They will be taking on Garcia, 2point0 and The Acclaimed. Unfortunately for me, Max Caster’s entrance rap was shut down by a punch to the face.

The disorder and chaos continued from here. Right up until the awkward finish. Garcia pinned Kingston, using an illegal pin. The ref counted the three, and then awkwardly stood there for a few seconds before signalling for the bell to be rung. No music was played and the match was declared over.

A brawl broke out, and eventually Jurassic Express (and Christian) saved the day. Jungle Boy gave the Lucha Bros their tag belts back and the two teams shook hands. I guess we will see a title match between them before too long.

Kingston chased Garcia down the entrance ramp as the episode ended.

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