Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all enjoy lots of Turkey tomorrow night. And, more importantly, I hope the Bears wipe the floor with the Lions AND Matt Nagy gets fired.
Speaking of Da Bears, tonight’s episode is in the greatest city on earth – Chicago, Illinois. Unfortunately, that means we have to watch the hometown hero, CM Punk, in action. He’s not my hero.
Hey! It’s MJF to the rescue! MJF made reference to the “pipe bomb promo” but pointed out that it was the only good point of Punk’s entire career. He also had the great line of “how can someone who is straight edge look so much like a meth addict?”. I told you, he legitimately makes me laugh every single time. He got some jabs in about his UFC career as well. I thoroughly enjoyed all of that.
Punk eventually got his chance to retort. MJF clearly won this battle of words, but Punk also made me laugh buy calling MJF a “less famous Miz”. Alright, I’m all in on this feud. I just hope MJF is the victor at the end of it.
Seriously, MJF was straight fire in this promo. From PG Punk, to John Cena references, to excellent and accurate impersonations, it had it all. I had a good laugh. I could have done without the shots at my city though! Punk wasn’t bad, but he talked a little bit too much I thought.
After the break, Punk was in action against QT Marshall. Marshall brought his friends along with him, but they were quickly tossed out by the ref. It didn’t matter either way. This was basically a throwback to QT’s days as a jobber. I didn’t mind this match, but I also got bored of it. It just went on for too long.
Alright, after almost 40 minutes of Punk, it’s time to move on. Tony Schiavone is backstage with Christian Cage and Jurassic Express. Jurassic Express have found their way back to the number 1 contender spot for the Tag Team titles and Christian has guaranteed that they will win them.
Eddie Kingston is trying to enjoy a slice of cake, but is interrupted by Garcia and 2point0. They point out that Kingston isn’t hungry any more, and he motions to his cake and says of course I am. Things turned physical, but was quickly broken up.
Billy and Colton Gunn picked up a very quick and convincing victory against Bear Country. This episode is just starting to feel like an episode of Dark!
The Gunn Club were confronted by Sting and Darby after the match. Darby and Austin collided on the entrance ramp. And I mean collided. I’m pretty sure Darby took Austin’s head off. Props to Austin for taking a big bump.
On January 8th of next year, TNT will be presenting the Battle of the Belts. I don’t know exactly what it is yet, but one can assume that all the titles will be up for grabs. It’ll be a special event on a Saturday night!
Adam Cole and Bobby Fish are ticked off they keep losing week after week. It looks like Orange Cassidy and Wheeler Yuta are about to enter a “best friends” feud with Cole and Fish. I’m pretty sure Trent and Chucky already did this against Omega and Nakazawa back in the day.
Tony is presiding over Dante Martin’s ultimatum to join Team Taz. Lio Rush said that Martin wouldn’t be joining, but Martin shocked him when he signed the contract and walked away on his former friend. Seriously, they’d only been friends for like a month. Rush shouldn’t have been so surprised.
Finally an entertaining match! Thunder Rosa and Jamie Hayter in the quarter finals of the TBS Tournament. I actually wish this one went for a little bit longer. I was also surprised by how many people in the audience were cheering for Hayter.
Baker and Rebel tried to get involved to help Hayter out, but Baker inadvertently kicked her friend in the face, which essentially put her down for the count.
After the match, Baker tried to make amends but Hayter was having none of it. Is this the end of the dream team?
Marves wants to know what is next for Chris Jericho. Before we got the answer, Garcia and 2point0 interrupted. Jericho suggested they go to the hardware store to get some protection against Eddie Kingston. He also pointed out that one of them (I can’t recall their names) has a square head and strongly advised him against interrupting him again.
Back to the Doctor! Baker, Rebel and Tony are sharing a Thanksgiving dinner together. Baker apologised to the world for letting Thunder Rosa pin Hayter. Tony pointed out that at last year’s All Out, Riho was never eliminated so as a result, she will get a match against Baker this week on Rampage. If Riho wins, she gets a future title shot. Baker was not impressed.
Another match, another Chicago boy and another Chicago boy I’ll be cheering against. Boom Boom, Colt Cabana is squaring off against Bryan Danielson. Something tells me that Cabana will not be as successful as Punk was earlier.
The crowd were strongly behind Cabana, and it helped him to mount a small amount of offense, maybe for a grand total of a minute or two. Then Danielson went right back to kicking the crap out of him. Eventually Cabana submitted. Danielson kept his promise to kick his head in.
Tony Schiavone made his way to the ring (he took his sweet time) to talk to Danielson. I was hopeful that he would get his head kicked in as well, but no luck.
Danielson called the fans out for being fickle and turning on him so quickly. Danielson said that he isn’t fickle and made good on his promise to kick in Cabana’s head. He even kicked a few of his teeth out! Next week in Atlanta, Danielson said he will take on anyone and kick their head in to.
Hangman came out to air his grievances with Danielson. This time, Hangman came out alone. Hangman offered to defend his title against Danielson right here, but Danielson declined. Pretty fair considering he literally just had a match. They still went at it though! Danielson escaped the ring before things got to serious.
We had another promo for the upcoming match between Soho and Statlander. This match is getting hyped to the max. I hope it doesn’t fall short, although I expect it will.
Main event time. Cody Rhodes, Pac and the Lucha Brothers all team up to take on Andrade, Malakai and FTR. On the way to the ring, a small child wanted to high five Dax. Dax leant in for the high five, put pulled his hand back at the last second, only to laugh at the kid. That’s funny but I also felt bad for the kid. I fancy myself as the bad guy, but I don’t think I’d have the heart to do that.
The crowd was split on Cody again. He had a fair few cheers and chants, but you could definitely hear a chorus of boos thrown in his direction as well. I’m curious to see the reaction he gets in his hometown next week!
Cody did his usual “throw the belt to the crowd” routine, only this time the crowd through it back and erupted in cheers. I believe they were also chanting “asshole” at him. This seriously captivates me. I cannot remember ever seeing something like this before. It’s mind boggling and insanely entertaining. At least to me.
Andrade ended up throwing the belt under the ring. Someone collected it and gave it back to Cody. He strapped around his waist again. Truly captivating television. I’m not being sarcastic. This is blowing my mind.
The actual match wasn’t bad either. I hate 8 man tags, but at least all 8 competitors are a decent wrestlers. There were some good exchanges and sequences throughout the match. Particularly anytime Fenix was in the ring.
It got chaotic, as 8 man tags tend to do, but it was never irritating, like 8 man tags often are. It was never a mess and the action was always easy to follow. I might go as far as to say it was the best multi man tag match I’ve ever seen.
The fans quickly turned against Cody as the match went on, and any cheers either disappeared or were drowned out. Props to Cody, he had the balls to throw out his belt once more. This time it stayed in the crowd. I genuinely feel bad for him. But I also don’t understand why he won’t just embrace the dark side.
Even Arn and Tully faced off again, but were interrupted before it came to blows. Andrade ended up getting the win for his team, pinning Pac. That was actually a good main event! For once AEW saved the best match for last!
Happy Thanksgiving Y’all.