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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : Sep 1st

There is no place like home, and no home quite like Chicago! Where else would we rather be to celebrate the 100th episode of Dynamite?

FTR kicked things off with a Tag Team match against Santana and Ortiz. I expected a great match and I got a great match. It was a very exciting, fast paced, technical showcase. Basically everything you want from a grudge match, just missing some blood. Santana and Ortiz won this one! I really hope to see these two go at it again.

Danny Garcia and 2.0 are mad at Darby. Everyone wants a piece of Darby. Garcia has promised that he will destroy Darby Allin this week on Rampage, ensuring that Allin will be unable to compete at All Out.

Over to Chicago’s own, CM Punk. He didn’t have anything relevant to say, it was just a cheap pop for the fans. Garcia and 2.0 jumped him. I guess they just hate everybody. Allin came to save him though. Sting was with him. Obviously. Allin and Punk did the forehead to forehead bit afterwards.

Sting would also apparently like to wrestle CM Punk. Sting has promised that he will stay out of the match at All Out. Then Allin and Punk went forehead to forehead again.

We watched a short promo to build some hype for the upcoming title match between Omega and Cage.

Tony is with MJF to get his thoughts on the match against Jericho. Tony was incredibly unprofessional. MJF thinks that it is time for Jericho to hang up his boots.

Back to the ring. Orange Cassidy is in a singles match against Jack Evans. Hardy jumped Cassidy before the match started. I don’t blame him, Cassidy did break his nose last week. Remsburg ejected Hardy from ringside, but it was enough to give Evans a bit of a head start.

Obviously, that didn’t matter because Cassidy is literally stronger than Goku. Of course he won. “Can you believe it?” Asks JR, like it is some sort of surprise that Cassidy won. Excalibur also felt it was worth mentioning that Cassidy stole won. Twats.

After the match, Hardy and Evans kicked the crap out of Cassidy. At least for a little bit, Chucky T and Wheeler came to his rescue. Then the entirety of the HFO came to rescue Matt. Then Jurassic Express came to even the odds again. Then the whole roster of AEW came out and it turned into an all out brawl. Ok, I made the last sentence up.

Kingston wants to know why Miro’s kryptonite is a DDT. Kingston answered his own question. Apparently the answer is his neck?

Moxley said he is going to try and break Kojima’s neck at All Out. He also said that he plans on scalping him. Now that’d be something to see.

JR is in the ring to have an interview with Chris Jericho. For the last time? Jericho vows otherwise. I guess we will find out on the weekend!

Allin is willing to die trying to beat CM Punk on the weekend. I believe him to.

Brian Cage and Powerhouse Hobbs was the next match on the schedule, and just like the last one it started earlier. Cage jumped Hobbs during the latter’s entrance. Eventually they made their way to the ring and it officially started.

The two mammoths exchanged blows and power moves for a while, but Cage looked like he was going to come out on top. Team Taz had different ideas though. Ricky Starks and Hook ran interference, helping turn the tide in the favour of Hobbs.

Malakai Black has set his sights on Lee Johnson. How come Johnson is always going up against bonafide superstars?

QT Marshall called out Paul Wight, and apparently wants to face him man to man, heavyweight to heavyweight. I’m pretty sure the Wight has a fair bit of size on him. Wight kicked the shit out of all of them. Then the Gunn Club came to help him. Literally after he beat everyone up. Thanks for nothing, Gunn Club.

Plot twist! Billy smacked Wight with a chair! I didn’t see that one coming. QT acted surprised. Maybe he was in on it, maybe he wasn’t, but he certainly took advantage of the situation. QT and Friends came back in the ring and beat down on Wight some more, leaving him unconscious in the ring.

Tony headed backstage to interview Britt Baker, to hear her thoughts on her contract renewal. The other Tony let her have a match of her choosing as a “signing bonus”. Baker choose a handicap match this week on Rampage. Baker and Hayter vs Statlander.

Superbad Penelope Ford (with The Bunny) is up next, taking on Tay Conti. Conti managed to get the victory, despite the odds being stacked her against her.

The odds caught up to her after the match though. Ford and The Bunny beat down Conti for a while, until we had the surprise return of Conti’s BFF, Anna Jay! This Sunday at All Out, Anna Jay will have her first match in the Casino Battle Royale.

Backstage, Alex wanted to get Thunder Rosa’s thoughts on Anna Jay’s return. It turned into one of the worst brawls I’ve ever seen, between Jade, Rosa and Nyla Rose. And not in a good way. I hate it when they can’t fake fight convincingly. It’s literally your damn job.

This week on Rampage we will do another cheap pop with CM Punk. Darby Allin (with Sting) will take on Daniel Garcia (with 2.0). Malakai Black will take on Lee Johnson. Kris Statlander will have her handicap match against Rebel (Not Britt) and Jamie Hayter. We will also hear from Miro.

The Buy In for All Out has been announced. Orange Cassidy, Chucky T, Wheeler Yuta, Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus will team up to take on Matt Hardy, TH2 and Private Party in a 10 man tag team match.

The main card will feature : Omega v Cage, Baker v Statlander, Young Bucks v Lucha Bros (in a steel cage!), Miro v Kingston, Wight v Marshall, Mox v Kojima, MJF v Jericho (if Jericho loses, he will retire), CM Punk v Allin, and the Women’s Casino Battle Royale.

Time for tonight’s main event! An 8 man tag team match. Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus, Rey Fenix and Penta El Zero Miedo teaming up to take on the fearsome foursome of Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson.

As is often the case in these types of matches, it was a dang mess. It wasn’t a bad match, but it’s hard to keep track of that many bodies. Not to mention the additional activity on the outside from each teams respective clique.

Matt Jackson got the win for his team, after a meltzer driver on Rey Fenix. 1,2,3, Ding Ding! Omega and Callis joined them in the ring to celebrate the victory. Omega has dyed his hair black. Or blue? I can’t tell. Christian Cage tagged along as well. Unfortunately for him, the numbers were against him. The kendo sticks as well.

Callis apparently swiped the keys for the cage from Tony Khan. Kenny had him lower the cage, locking Cage and the Lucha Brothers in the cage. Let the beat down commence. A few people tried to get in the cage to rescue them, but no dice. The episode ended abruptly. I’m gonna assume that Cage got whooped in the cage though. See you at Rampage!

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