AEW Dynamite : August 25th

Looks like CM Punk has made his way into the opening video. That didn’t take long.

The opening bout featured Orange Cassidy (with Chucky T and Yuta) taking on Big Money Matt, surprisingly with no one in his corner. I guess that means that they will interfere at some point. Is it just me or is this a really weird feud? No matter. Kick his ass, Matty!

The two exchanged gimmicks for a bit, before eventually starting the match. Matt dominated much of the match, but Cassidy managed to turn the tide in the end.

Breaking your opponents nose will give you the upper hand! It looks like Cassidy was a bit too high on a flying cross body, connecting with Hardy’s face. There was a lot of blood. Hardy was ever the professional though and finished the match like a champion. I have so much respect and admiration for that man. We all know who the real winner was. And the HFO didn’t even interfere!

Malakai Black thinks Brock Anderson is in over his head. No shit.

Chris Jericho takes centre stage next, fortunately with his entrance music. We didn’t need to hear the fans butcher it again. Jericho says that he isn’t done with MJF just yet. He should probably just quit this one. He is already 0-3 against him!

Nonetheless, Jericho proposed one more match. The final showdown. Jericho v MJF at All Out. If Jericho loses, he will retire from wrestling in AEW. Forever. But will still work as a commentator. Hmmm, Jericho might actually lose this one.

MJF accepted the challenge, but strongly advised that Jericho reconsidered his poor decision making.

The Lucha Bros are next up, taking on the Varsity Blondes. The winner will advance to take on Jurassic Express on Rampage (I think). It was a pretty entertaining match, although it was a tad sloppy at times. The Blondes were definitely off of their game, but the Lucha Bros weren’t blameless either.

I was hoping that the Varsity Blondes would get the win, but I knew they wouldn’t. Jurassic Express vs Lucha Bros this Friday on Rampage!

Jurassic Express came to meet the Lucha Bros in the ring, and were soon attacked by The Elite. However, LB and JE teamed up to take out the Bucks.

We go over to Chavo to build some hype for the Pac vs Andrade bout at All Out. All Out will also feature Allin v Punk, Baker v Statlander and Omega v Cage.

Jamie Hayter was in action next against Red Velvet. I hope Jamie wins, because as you all know with Red Velvet…well let’s just say that I really Hayter. Sorry, I can do better.

Unfortunately for me, Tony Khan adores Red Velvet. Apparently not enough though, because in the upset of the century, Hayter won! She took advantage after Red Velvet missed a moonsault. And I mean completely missed. By a mile. What a twat.

After the match, Baker and Co. jumped Red, who was quickly saved by Kris Statlander.

The Dark Order are seem to be fighting over their handling of the Hangman situation. Reynolds and Silver want to help Hangman. Evil Uno says no. Reynolds mentioned that Uno is not the leader. Hopefully they are finally breaking up!

CM Punk is officially a part of AEW now, which means he has the displeasure of a Tony Schiavone interview. It was basically just a replay of his debut last week. I hope this doesn’t turn in to a weekly segment, like with Tony and Sting back in the day.

Miro has set his sights upon Eddie Kingston and has promised to drown in him in a river. I love them both.

A trios match between the team of Darby, Kingston, and Mox and Pretty Picture’s Nemith, Drake and Bononi was up next. I’m sure you know who won.

Post match, the brawling continued. Danny Garcia jumped Allin, who was swiftly saved by Sting.

There will be a Women’s Casino Battle Royale at All Out’s Buy-In. The Bunny suggested that Tay Conti team up with her. Conti disagreed and things got physical, as they always do.

FTR are back! And they are ready for revenge against Santana and Ortiz.

Fortunately, Don Callis was in charge of the next interview. Not that it was much of an interview. Cage and The Elite hate one another. That’s about all you need to know. It turned into a brawl. The Elite kicked the snot out of Cage, until Kazarian chased them off.

Moxley is angry again. I couldn’t quite make out what he said. Something about a NWJP legend and a straw. Satoshi Kojima. All Out. Book it.

Paul Wight joined the commentary team for the next fight. It was another trios match. The Gunn Club taking on The Factory’s Comoroto, Solo and Marshall. Surprisingly, The Gunn Club won. Mainly because QT stopped wrestling to yell at Wight. I’m sure Wight will snap QT in half at All Out.

More Dan Lambert stuff. Looks like he has teamed up with Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page. Did that happen already? I can’t remember. I might have to reread my own write up. Lambert got a dig in about that guy who cried about CM Punk appearing.

Next week : Cage v Hobbs, Cassidy v Evans AND FTR VS SANTANA AND ORTIZ! It’s happening. Also a few interviews. On Rampage we have Conti v Bunny, Jurassic Express v Lucha Bros and Omega/Cutler vs Kazarian/Cage.

Arn Anderson agrees that Brock is in over his head. Sounds like Arn is putting his money on Malakai Black. We’ll find out the winner after this short commercial break.

Well, Anderson lasted all of 2 minutes against Black. It would have been less if Black didn’t waste time talking to Arn.

Black wasn’t satisfied with just the win though. He came back in the ring with a steel chair. Then he decided he didn’t need the chair and kicked the crap out of Arn. Tony didn’t approve.

I thought Cody was going to save the day, but they sent Lee Johnson in instead. How terrifying.

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