Movies & TV

The Kissing Booth 3

This is why I don’t let my wife pick what we watch.

I don’t want to come down to hard on a light hearted romantic comedy, but Jesus Christ. You’d think by the third instalment that they would at least have one original idea to bring to the movie.

You don’t really need to see the third Kissing Booth movie, because you’ve already seen it. Twice. First, in the Kissing Booth. Then it was regurgitated for the Kissing Booth 2. And, finally, we vomited it back up for the (hopefully) final instalment.

Elle and Noah fight and make up, only to fight again. The cycle repeats itself, much as it has throughout the trilogy. Elle and Lee fight and make up, only to fight again. They cycle repeats itself, much as it has throughout the trilogy.

Sorry if I’m repeating myself, I find it hard to be inspired to write about such an uninspiring film. I’m only doing it because my wife is in the shower and I have some time to kill.

The good news is, Rachel decided to keep her mouth quiet for the film. So we had at least one relationship that was drama free. Just smooth sailing for Rachel and Lee. Until Rachel overheard Elle and Noah break up and decided she needed to break up with Lee as well. You know, common sense. After all that, they ended up getting back together as well.

Marco obviously had to make his return to the film, in one last attempt to steal Elle away for himself. Apparently, the best way to do that was to dress up as Wario, punch her boyfriend in the face and turn up to her house with guitar. You can imagine how that worked out for him. (Not good).

Chloe was back as well, although I’m not sure why. It was fun to watch a 23 year old woman cry about her parents getting divorced. It’s America, honey. Everyone’s parents are divorced. You’re not special.

Everyone else also made a return to this film as well, not that I remembered any of them. My wife, who literally forgets every single that I tell her, the very second that it leaves my mouth, somehow managed to remember every single character and event from the course of the 3 films. The woman is an enigma.

My favourite part of this film (and trilogy) was watching all of the characters run away and cry anytime something bad happen. Elle and Lee have a fight? No worries, Lee is just going to run away and cry in a different room. My daughter does that whenever she is sad. She is 2.

I will give credit where credit is due. There was one scene that touched me. When Elle was walking through the beach house for the last time before it was sold, and having flashbacks to all her childhood memories. It did bring a tear to my eye. But that’s because I had to do the same thing when I was a kid, after my parents divorced and sold my childhood home.

Eventually, Molly Ringwald (wonderful as ever) decided not to sell the house anyway, so it was all a moot point. Credit withdrawn. No sale, no scene. It was actually due to my own unresolved issues anyway, not good film making.

All of this drama could have been avoided if Elle was capable of saying no every once in a while. It turns out, she just needed to start living for herself, instead of the men in her life. Good thing it took her all of one afternoon to figure out what she wanted to do with her life.

They couldn’t even nail the happily ever after. They did a 6 year time jump (which I hate) and then left us hanging. Did Elle and Noah get back together? We know that Rachel and Lee did, making their break up all the more pointless. Elle and Lee managed to remain BFF’s after all of their drama. But what about Elle and Noah? Personally, I don’t think they did. He is far too tall for her. It just isn’t going to work out.

And, the Kissing Booth itself was just tacked on at the end. It served no purpose and had nothing to do with the film whatsoever. It was literally just there so the film could keep the name. I think a better title would have been “Elle vs Everyone”. Or “How to Ruin all of your friendships.” Or “This is where I go to cry”.

All in all, it was a suck fest. The drama was poor, the comedy was poor (admittedly, I did chuckle a couple of times- literally 2 times) and the storyline was about as exciting as….something really unexciting. It was so bad, I can’t even be my usual witty self. It ruined me.

At the end of the day, relationships are hard work, friends let you down and people grow up. Life changes. Unfortunately, the Kissing Booth kids aren’t equipped to handle that.

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