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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : July 14th

Fyter Fest : Night 1

Fyter Fest wasn’t a bad episode, but it was very dialogue heavily. It felt like it was promo after promo, and most of them were irrelevant or boring. Or both. It wasn’t all doom ‘n’ gloom though, we did have some fun. Let’s recap.

The opening bout featured Jon Moxley defending his IWGP United States title against Karl Anderson. Eddie Kingston made sure that Doc Gallows wouldn’t interfere, by brawling him from the ring to the back. Literally. Even went through the crowd.

With no interference, Anderson had no chance of taking Moxley’s title. After a Paradigm Shift and a 3 count, Anderson’s hopes were dashed.

It didn’t take long for a new challenger to emerge for the IWGP Title though. Lance Archer wants another shot and has suggested that the duo have another Texas Deathmatch. Archer points out that next weeks episode is in Texas, so it seems to fit perfectly.

Alex (Abrahantes, not Marves) is interviewing Andrade. Andrade doesn’t have much to say, just that he is looking for the Death Triangle. Apparently he has a message for them.

The next match on the cards was another title match, this time the FTW championship. Not a real championship, I know. Just let him have it. What does it even stand for? Never mind, I don’t care.

What I do care about however, is a phenomenal match between two phenomenal talents. Ricky Starks and Brian Cage. Love, love, love these guys! I wish they had more time as a tag team, but they put on a good show as opponents. It was a fantastic match, with no shortage of excitement and a couple of false finishes for good measure.

Starks tried to use the FTW belt to knock out Cage, but Hobbs wouldn’t allow it. Apparently he has grown a conscience and wants a good clean fight. Without outside help, Starks looked like he was out of luck.

Just as Cage was set to finish his opponent off, Hobbs knocked Cage out with the belt. It was a ruse! Starks wins and we have a new champion. Team Taz wasted no time celebrating the victory of Starks and it looks like Cage’s time with the group is over.

Cody Rhodes is angry with Malachi Black for kicking Arn Anderson in the face. Apparently it is disrespectful and wrong to kick an old man. Personally, I thought it was funny. Nonetheless, Cody was mad and challenged Malachi to a fight.

Black answered, but not to fight. Instead he shared a long story about a man and a horse. I think Malachi was the man and Rhodes the horse. Anyway, eventually they had a bit of a fight and had to be separated by officials.

Alex (Marves, not Abrahantes) attempted to interview Tully Blanchard, but split as soon as Santana and Ortiz rocked up. The duo wrestled Blanchard to the ground and went to hit him in the head with a crowbar. Turns out it was only a prop and they were just trying to scare him. Mission successful.

Over to Tony in the ring and he has some questions for Hangman. Basically, Hangman has found his confidence and issued a challenge to Kenny Omega. The Elite came out to kick the snot out of him, but the Dark Order came out to save the Cowboy. It’s a stalemate.

Omega suggests that they have a 5v5, elimination style tag match. Sounds good to me. If the Dark Order win, Hangman gets a title shot against Omega and 2 members of the Dark Order get a tag title shot against the Bucks. However, if The Elite win, Hangman and the Dark Order get nothing. Yeah, I thought that was a bit anti climatic to.

Oh and Kenny tried to get the crowd to stop chanting “Cowboy Shit”. His suggestion for a replacement was “Belt Collector”. You can imagine how that went.

Alex (Marves, looks like he has taken over again) is questioning Jericho about the upcoming “5 Labours of Jericho”. Just as Jericho was explaining that he would be triumphant, just like Hercules, Shawn Spears smacked him in the throat with a chair.

As Jericho gasped for breathe, MJF appeared to inform him what his first labour would be. A singles match against Shawn Spears, with one stipulation. Shawn Spears can use a chair as a legal weapon, but Jericho cannot.

After what felt like a lifetime, we are back to the ring for a match. Matt Hardy and Christian Cage, attempting to settle their feud once and for all. It wasn’t a terrible match, but there weren’t a lot of highlights. Just a good, solid match.

Cage picked up the victory. The Hardy Family Office weren’t pleased about this, so they came to the ring to beat up on Cage a little bit. Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus were quick to come to his aid though, and they prevented any damaged being done.

Luchasaurus lifted Christian Cage into the air and placed him upon his shoulders. Right were Jungle Boy normally sits. JB didn’t say nothing, but you could see him staring down Cage. We might just have our next big feud.

Miro told a story about his hot, flexible wife. Not that kind of story. It wasn’t actually about his wife at all. He just mentioned her. I think he is changing his nickname from ‘The Best Man’ to ‘God’s Champion’, and again to ‘The Redeemer”. Whatever makes you happy, man. I like Miro.

Tony asked Britt Baker if she will be ok after going through a table last week. Britt reminded him that she is a hardcore champion and will be just fine for Fyter Fest 2.

Mumbling Moxley is backstage and accepts Lance Archer’s challenge for another Deathmatch. This match could be great or it could be a shit show. We will find out next Wednesday.

The upcoming Wheeler Yuta was next in action, taking on a red hot Sammy Guevara. Sammy must be really hot, because JR said so about 400 times in this match. Given how short this match was, that was a very impressive feat. Especially when you take in to consideration that Jim couldn’t refer to Guevara as Sammy, it was always ‘Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!’.

This match was fantastic, but unfortunately very, very short. I wonder if it was cut short because of how many promos this episode had. I felt these two could have easily gone 15 minutes and it would have been a masterpiece. Hopefully, we get to see them square off again. Guevara picked up another victory.

Back to Tony Schiavone, this time with QT Marshall. I can’t remember what they were talking about and I really don’t care. Aaron Solow was there. I only remember because he had a protein shake, which Tony ended up wearing, courtesy of QT. It was chocolate.

The Magical Girl, Yuka Sakazaki defeated Penelope Ford, in another match that was shorter than it should have been. I wish Ford got the win. I really like her. It would be cool to see her on the tile scene one day.

We witnessed an ‘electrifying’ advertisement for AEW Rampage. I emphasised electrifying because they ad used a lot of fake lightning. It also promised that Rampage would have “less distraction and more action”, so basically the polar opposite of this episode.

And time for our Main Event. A coffin match between Darby Allin and Ethan Page. The coffin was carried out to the ring by a few dudes, one of them who already looked dead. Maybe it was his coffin?

Unfortunately for Allin, Scorpio Sky was hiding in the coffin and it quickly tuned in to a 2 on 1. It didn’t take Sting long to even the odds though, and he dragged Sky through the crowd, back to the locker room. That was the last time anyone ever heard from Scorpio Sky.

With no one to interfere, the match was Darby’s bread and butter. At least it was until he was power bombed onto the stairs, from the top rope. Ouch!

Eventually, Allin managed to turn it around and with the help of his trusty skateboard, he managed to get Page in to the coffin and shut the lid. Allin wins.

Apparently, he didn’t hurt himself or Page enough and decided to do a Coffin Drop, from the top rope, directly onto the closed casket. It shattered and I suspect it would have hurt Darby more than it hurt Page.

It wasn’t a bad main event, but it wasn’t super crazy either. Maybe I’ve just been spoiled, but every time Darby is in a no rules match, I expect something pretty nuts. There wasn’t even any blood! It did have it’s moments though. I wonder if this is the end of the long running feud between them. I guess time will tell.

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