Categories
Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : July 7th

Road Rager

That’s right, it’s Wednesday night and we are back on the road! An action packed episode awaits, so let’s head down to the ring.

On our way down, I realised that there is no more long entrance ramp. Just a standard ramp. Weird.

The opening bout was the South Beach Strap match. If you are unfamiliar with the rules, basically Cody and QT are strapped together at the wrist. To win the match, you need to touch all 4 turnbuckles before your opponent. I also believe that there is a time limit on your tags.

They used a massive strap. I haven’t seen a strap match for a long time, but I remembered the straps being smaller. I thought the point was to beat your opponent and then drag them around the ring. This strap was literally long enough that the wrestlers could have just walked around the ring, no dragging required.

Aaron Solow got involved, but Dustin Rhodes quickly put an end to that, chasing him out of the arena. QT used the distraction to pop Cody in the balls. Cody quickly returned the favour and busted QT’s face open. Then the lights went out…

Apparently it was just a technical glitch though. Oops. That wasn’t the only anti-climatic part of the match. The ending was pretty sudden. QT spat at Cody, Cody elbowed him in the face and tagged all 4 corners. The end.

Shawn Spears spent some time reflecting on his 2 great chair shots in the company, the first being Cody and the second being Sammy last week. The interview didn’t last long though, as Sammy Guevara threw a chair at his face.

Tony had the pleasure of interviewing Kenny Omega. Or should I say that Omega had the displeasure of being interviewed by Tony? Thankfully, Don Callis took the microphone off of him and sent him to the corner. The crowd busted out in to a “You got fired” chant. I don’t know why, I don’t read the internet. Must be an Impact! thing and I’m a bit behind on that.

Callis stated once again that Omega has beaten everyone that there is to beat in AEW and has no challengers for Fight for the Fallen. Cue the Dark Order music and Evil Uno lead the troops out. Evil Uno’s voice does not match his body, has anyone else noticed that?

What’s the capitol of Thailand? It’s Bangkok, baby! That’s what Omega said as he kicked Uno in the nuts. That shut him up. Things quickly turned into a brawl between Omega, The Good Brothers and the Dark Order.

Obviously, Hangman came out to save his friends. JR couldn’t resist saying Cowboy Schizniz and just like last time, I wish he didn’t. Hangman and Omega recreated the Rock and Hulk stare down.

Over to the interview room, and JR is with Ethan Page and Darby Allin. JR finds the feud to be disturbing and unsettling. They hate each other and the coffin match looks to be a go for next week.

A trios match was the next on the card. The Pinnacle’s Wardlow and FTR (with Tully) taking on the Inner Circle’s Jake Hager, Santana and Ortiz (with Konnan).

It was pretty darn great, especially as far as trios matches go. Hager was like the energiser bunny out there. Unfortunately, it didn’t amount for a win for his team. Hager was pinned, but in my eyes, he won the night.

Konnan attacked Wardlow after the match, but was taken out by Tully. That’s on Konnan for starting beef.

The Good Brothers hate Jon Moxley. Anderson challenged Mox to an IWGP title match on night one of Fight for the Fallen. I’m sure he will accept.

The standoff between Jericho and MJF was next. MJF stated his stipulations in order for Jericho to get a match against him. MJF has requested demanded that Jericho wrestle 4 opponents of MJF’s choosing, gauntlet style and with a surprise stipulation for all of them. If Jericho wins them all, he gets to fight MJF.

Not bad considering that Jericho was willing to stand in front of a truck, swim with piranha’s or sleep with MJF’s mother…again.

Tony is backstage with Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. and she is unhappy that she had to wrestle Vicki and Nyla last week. Enjoy your blood money, Tony. Maybe next week, AEW can take place in Saudi Arabia. Just to clarify, Britt said that, not me.

Andrade El Idolo made his in ring debut against Matt Sydal. I was pretty impressed by him. His moon sault from the top rope transitioned so smoothly into a standing moon sault, I was blown away. Andrade picked up his first win, via pinfall.

That wasn’t enough to satisfy his blood lust though. His attack on Sydal continued after the bell. After he was done, he shared a sweaty hug with Vicki.

Night 1 of Fyter Fest will see Matt Hardy take on Christian Cage, a match 23 years in the making. I was there, 23 years ago when it all started. Not actually there, but I was watching. I’m so old.

For some reason, Tony decided to interview Arn Anderson. The lights went out again. This time for a lot longer. When they came back on, Malakai Black/Aleister Black/Tommy End was standing in the ring. A swift roundhouse kick took out Arn, and a second dropped Cody.

Ricky Starks is travelling with his own personal security detail, he is worried that Cage will attack him. Taz isn’t pleased, but when is he ever?

It looks like the security he hired was a waste of money, because Cage dispatched them pretty quickly. At least they managed to buy some time for Starks to escape.

The mixed tag team match was next, with Orange Cassidy and Kris Statlander taking on The Bunny and the Blade. The Blade has his brass knuckles removed by the referee and the match was officially underway.

I wish they would properly embrace the “mixed” part of the match. It’s frustrating. I’m certain that any girl in AEW could hold their own against any of the guys. It’s frustrating! We did get to see Kris hit the Blade with a move from the top rope, but it was technically illegal.

Blade knocked out Cassidy with the brass knuckles, but Statlander picked up the win after pinning the Bunny.

We got to listen to some dude talk about AEW for a while. I didn’t get his name and I didn’t really care. Dan Lambert? At any rate, Lance Archer shut him.

The main event was a street fight for the Tag Team titles. The Young Bucks defending against Penta and Eddie Kingston. It was certainly a fun match, but it was no Best Friends vs Santana and Ortiz.

Penta probably had the highlight with a neat looking destroyer, putting one of the Jackson’s through a table. Nick was a close second with a nice Senton.

Eddie Kingston forced Matt Jackson to tap out, but Nick smartly took out the referee. It’s not a submission if there isn’t a ref to call it! The Good Brothers soon joined the fray and put the hurt on Penta and Eddie. Frankie Kazarian helped even the odds a bit.

Kingston once again had the Bucks down, this time for a 3 count, but again, with no referee, there is no one to count.

And here come the thumbtacks! This is what we live for. A hurricanrana from Nick and Penta’s back is suddenly filled with tacks. Then they literally made Eddie eat some, kicked him in the face and got the win.

The Young Bucks retain and I’ll see you next week!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s