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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : June 11th

The Pinnacle arrive on the scene in a limousine, making their first appearance since the Stadium Stampede loss at Double or Nothing. I guess we will hear from them a little bit later though, because we are off to the ring for our first match.

TH2 are standing in the ring, alongside Matt Hardy. We didn’t get to see TH2’s entrance, which is a shame because I love watching Angelico dance. So does my wife. She just loves staring at his abs. She has no shame. We’ve only been married a month and she already fantasises about a younger, more attractive model.

Anyway, Matt Hardy has the microphone and calls out Christian for always being jealous of his success (and money). Hardy promises to destroy Christian’s career, starting tonight, when Angelico defeats Cage in singles competition.

Well, Christian had other plans. After an awesome singles match, Christian defeated Angelico. Hardy would not be denied his revenge though and once again (with some help from Jack Evans), Christian was on the wrong end of a Twist of Fate.

The merciless beat down continued until Jungle Boy came and saved the day.

It looks like July is going to be a pretty hectic month for AEW. July 7th will be “Road Rager”, AEW’s first episode on the road (Miami) since basically the start of the pandemic. Fyter Fest will take place over 2 nights, as per normal, July 14th (Austin) and 21st (Dallas). Fight for the Fallen will be the following week, on July 28th, in Charlotte. All tickets are currently on sale at aewtix.com

Tony announces that next week we will see the debut of Brock Anderson in the ring. He will team up with Cody Rhodes to take on Aaron Solow and QT Marshall. Brock is Arn’s son and you could tell instantly, mainly by the way he was dressed.

QT interrupted and said that he was sick of watching this. Not dissimilar to my feelings on this feud, but no matter. Things took a really weird turn here. Like if some obsessed AEW fan wrote an erotic fan fiction about AEW and it came to life.

QT said that he wanted to whip Cody. Not metaphorically, but literally whip his ass. He challenged Cody to a “South Beach Strap” match. Cody responded with something like “If you want to whip me so bad, why wait?”. Cody then took his belt off and QT did the same thing.

However, Arn was the only person to take a whipping, courtesy of QT. Brock didn’t appreciate this and lunged on QT, dropping him to the ground. The scuffle continued and the Strap match was booked for Road Rager. Just weird, weird stuff. Now I understand why Vince never gave creative control to the wrestlers. Although, this has Vince written all over it.

A trios match was next on the agenda, with Eddie Kingston teaming up with his former best friend, Penta and Pac to take on the Young Bucks and their youngboy, Brandon Cutler. It was enjoyable enough for a trios match.

At one point, Nick tripped over the rope on his way into the ring and landed flat on his face. I’m not sure if it was a bit or not. He stood up too quickly and didn’t sell it at all, which would lead me to believe that it was genuine. But he also fell with a lot of force from a standing start, almost like he put some extra mustard on it. I laughed nonetheless.

Pac got the victory for his team after pinning Brandon Cutler. Don Callis said that Cutler’s punishment would be 5000 squats. Obviously, after the match the Young Bucks kicked the snot out of their opponents, with some help from the Good Brothers. This continued until Frankie Kazarian saved them.

We got to watch the Michael Kurosawa (see what he did there?) cut of the Double or Nothing match, in hopes of bringing light to the conspiracy against Kenny Omega. It was top quality work and I recommend checking it out on YouTube, assuming it is on YouTube. Very funny stuff.

The Pinnacle are now at centre stage and are addressing their ongoing rivalry with the Inner Circle. FTR still hate Santana and Ortiz. Shawn still hates Sammy. Wardlow still hates Hager and obviously, MJF still hates Jericho.

Wardlow accepts Hagers challenge for an MMA cage fight, but this isn’t enough to satisfy the Inner Circle, so they decide to trash the limo that was scheduled to take them home. And boy, did they trash it. Hager even hit it with a forklift. They made a mess of that thing and Santana proudly signed it “El Barto”. Nice.

Darby informed Sting that he won’t be choosing a new partner and will instead face Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page in a handicap match. Sting begs him to reconsider but Darby declines and requests that Sting will stay at home next week for the fight. Sting reluctantly agrees.

Miro successfully defended his TNT title against Evil Uno, despite the Dark Order doing their best to cheer their teammate on. Uno put on a good showing but ultimately submitted to Miro.

Next we saw a video on Andrade, which literally showed us nothing except him getting dressed. He will have a sit down with JR next week.

Tony is back in the ring, this time with Kenny Omega and Don Callis. The interview didn’t get very far before Jungle Boy interrupted. To be fair, they did call him out.

JB accused Omega of talking too much. Kenny responded by taking a swing at Jungle Boy. Unfortunately for Omega, Jungle Boy ducked and Omega was soon on the wrong end of a beat down. Fortunately for Omega, the Young Bucks came and saved his skin.

Jade and Mark are cutting a promo backstage. Blah, blah, blah.

Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky accept Darby’s challenge to a handicap, but not before ridiculing Darby for being so stupid.

Lance Archer beat up some jobber. I think his name was Chandler Hopkins. JR made some forced joke about Chandler from friends. It was dumb. The match was boring. I don’t understand why Lance Archer is so popular.

The Wingmen offer Orange Cassidy a makeover, stating that they can either rearrange his wardrobe or rearrange his face. Surely Cassidy will take the makeover?

In women’s competition, Nyla Rose defeated Leyla Hirsch with a massive powerbomb from the top rope. Nyla will be racking up the wins until she gets her title shot against Britt Baker DMD.

Speaking of, Baker is backstage with Tony and stated that at first she was really mad at Nyla for ruining her party, but his since calmed down. She said that Nyla looked so good flipping burgers that it was obviously her calling in life and she should stick to that. Otherwise, there is no distinction between Nyla and all the other “jealous bitches in the back”.

Our Main Event featured Brian Cage and Will Hobbs taking on the team of Hangman and 10. Surely, this will be the match that sees Brian Cage leave Team Taz!

The match was comfortably underway before Hook and Starks finally made their way to ringside. Hook ran interference to distract the referee and Starks used this time to hand the FTR belt to Cage, hoping he would use it as a weapon.

As we have seen in the past, Cage is not a fan of this tactic and once again, he threw the belt away. Apparently, Starks was expecting a different result because he was shocked. His shock quickly turned to anger and he climbed up on the side of the ring and slapped Cage across the face.

The big man didn’t like this and he chased Starks backstage, leaving Will Hobbs to face 2 men by himself. The odds were not in Hobbs favour and he was eventually pinned by 10, picking up the loss for Team Taz.

The Dark Order celebrated with some beer and we got to listen to Taz rant about “what the hell is wrong with Cage?”, like this was some new and completely unexpected turn of events.

Will Cage make up with his friends? Will Darby survive the handicap match? Will Nyla rose go back to flipping burgers? Tune in next Wednesday to Home and Away AEW for these answers and more!

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