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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : April 7th

I’m sorry that my recap is up so late! I also apologise if it is shorter than normal. In regards to the first statement, I did not sleep very well at all and I am exhausted. In regards to the latter, I was feeling unwell when I watched Dynamite and thus, my notes aren’t as good as normal. My problems, not yours, so let’s recap the latest episode!

The Inner Circle are back! The episode opens with the gentlemen arriving in Jacksonville. It looks like they have a police escort and have each come in a separate car. Come on guys, think of the environment! Try a carpool!

Tony makes a comment before he sees who it is and asks if it is Mike Tyson arriving. Then he mentions that it isn’t Tyson, but he will be at the arena for his first appearance in a while. Spoilers! Geez Louise, I hate spoilers more than I hate Excalibur.

The opening match is “Hangman” Adam Page in singles competition against my main man, “Platinum” Max Caster. Platinum kicks things off with another great diss track and I notice that the crowd is really into it. I don’t blame them, it’s a great bit.

I wrote “Hangman is rude” but I can’t recall in regards to what. I think maybe he attacked Anthony Bowens? Which would have been completely unwarranted, I’m sure.

Speaking of Bowens, he distracted Hangman just as Page was going to the top rope. This distraction provided Max with enough time to recover and jump up to the top rope to take advantage. Except Max slipped and fell off. Hangman turned to watch and then patiently waited for Max to climb up again and hit him. It’s ok to break the script in that situation, boys! In fact, it’s preferable.

Hangman went on to pick up the victory, which annoyed me. Not that he won, that was expected. But Bowens and Caster worked very well together and used every trick in the book to turn the odds in their favour. Hangman was hit in the head with a chain, but brushed it off as if it were a feather. In the instance of cheating, I’d like to see the cheaters win sometime. Hangman celebrates his victory with a beer.

Tony is in the ring with Death Triangle and announces that their Tag Team Title match will be on next week’s episode. The Best Friends come out and the crowd loves it. Me too! I really dig their new song, but I miss the old one.

Orange Cassidy lets Death Triangle know that he hasn’t forgotten all the times they’ve jumped him. Trent informs them that they are going to make their way back to being the number one contenders. “The boys are back” says Trent, before adding “oh yeah and we have an alien now”. It looks like Kris Statlander is going to be a permanent addition to the team. Cool!

The Inner Circle had the ring next and Jericho cut an amazing promo. He went at all the members of the Pinnacle and held nothing back. We had some great fake tan jokes at MJF’s expense and a dig at Spears’ blonde mohawk. It was awesome and amusing. Even the Inner Circle couldn’t help but laugh.

The real announcement was yet to come though. The revelation gave me goosebumps and typing it up now is giving me goosebumps all over again. Jericho and the Inner Circle challenged the Pinnacle to a match. Not just any match though. The Blood and Guts match. I called it! Weeks ago! I’m still so excited though. We’ve been waiting for this for over a year! One month and we get to witness it. I’m so keen.

Backstage, Christian Cage informs us that he really enjoyed wrestling Frankie last week. Then Taz comes along. I think the kids say SMH. Taz extends an invite to Cage to join forces. Looks like Brian Cage is on the way out and section 14 of the Team Taz charter says that we must always have one Cage.

Is AEW actually receiving money to advertise for Godzilla vs King Kong? Or are they just advertising for free? I’m genuinely curious. At any rate, we watch the movie trailer that is mashed up with clips of Jurassic Express and Bear Country. It was pretty cool.

Jurassic Express won the match. I don’t think Marko was there? Weird. Has anyone else noticed that Tony drops “oh my god” excessively on commentary. At one point in this match, we literally had three straight “oh my god” calls, back to back to back. In fairness, the middle one was Excalibur.

Sorry I don’t have further information on the match. My only notes said “AEW are shameless sellouts” and “Shut the f*** up, Tony”. I’m mean when I’m sick. Who am I kidding, I’m always mean.

QT cut a promo and took aim at the Rhodes family. I enjoyed the promo and I am also keen on the new group, but are they really calling themselves the Nightmare Factory? I thought we agreed on Dream Catchers!

After QT stopped talking, Nick Comoroto threw a bucket of blue paint on the Nightmare factory logo. He missed it completely and to be honest, I’m not sure what he was trying to achieve anyway. Nonetheless, it was awkward. I still love you, Nick. Don’t ever shave change. Or shave.

It’s time for our mandatory weekly interview between Tony and Sting. “This never gets old” Tony says as he introduces Sting. Yes it does. It has. It’s old. Older than you, older than Sting. It’s old.

Keeping with the tradition, Sting was interrupted, this time by Jake Roberts. In an unforeseen plot twist, Lance Archer then interrupted Jake. Jake gave him a friendly bear hug from behind. This didn’t stop Archer from ranting. Then, in the M. Night Shyamalan final twist, Sting interrupted Archer and agreed with him. Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page watched on with amusement. Who cares, next segment.

Well, it went from bad to worse, because the next segment was Taz again. Starks and Cage are still fighting, but Taz tells them to stop because there is genuine chance that Christian will join the group. Who cares, next segment.

JD Drake, with his impressive 2-3 record is up next and he has a TNT Title match with Darby Allin. Can you guess who won? It was Drake. I’m kidding, of course. Darby retained his title.

After the match, Butcher steamrolled Allin. Big time. It was a massive hit. Looks like the Hardy Family Office aren’t done with you yet, Allin. Luckily, Sting and the Dark Order come to the rescue of Darby.

The HFO flee the arena, but accidentally leave the Bunny behind. She is stuck at the announce desk. She really wanted to yell at them and I can’t say I blame here. However, this time it cost her. Tay Conti jumped her and the two of them went at it a while, before being separated. Tony mentions that it is the next match on the card, which begs the question why bother separating them?

Alex Marves is backstage with Chris Jericho. Jericho doesn’t get to say much before he is jumped by the Pinnacle. They drag him out to the ring for a good ol’ fashioned beatdown. The Inner Circle don’t come to the rescue, Marves reveals that they have been locked in their locker room. They are attempting to break the door down.

Now that I think about it, it’s strange that they would be trying to escape so forcibly. Marves never told them that Jericho was in trouble and from memory, there is not a TV in their locker room, so they would have had no idea that Jericho was in trouble.

Anyway, with the Inner Circle locked up, we needed a new hero to come and save the day. Enter Mike Tyson. This would have been a huge surprise moment, had Tony not ruined it earlier. After Tyson enters the ring, the Inner Circle aren’t far behind. I wonder if Tyson and Tully are going to join the Blood and Guts match? I hope not.

Tony is interviewing everyone’s favourite dentist, Dr Britt Baker. Britt wants a title shot, but Tony points out that rankings matter and she is only the 4th ranked female wrestler.

Is he really going to stand here and give us the whole rankings matter spiel? Not 10 minutes ago, we watched JD Drake have a title match. JD DRAKE! The “J” stands for jobber (or Jabroni if you will) and the “D” stands for defeated! Mother f***er has 2 wins in AEW and he gets a title shot, but we have to hold Britt back.

Back to the match we started before, Tay Conti vs The Bunny. Tay Conti picked up the win, which I can’t be upset about because we are in love, but again AEW dropped the chance for a good swerve.

The Bunny used some creative tactics to get the upper hand, including a kendo stick to the head of Conti, but to no avail. I would really like to see the cheater prosper sometimes.

A few matches are announced for next week. The TNT Title match will be defended in a Falls Count Anywhere matchup between the Champion Allin and the Challneger, Matt Hardy. That should actually be really fun. The tag team titles are also on the lines, with the Young Bucks defending against Pac and Fenix.

Anthony Ogogo will make his in ring debut. Red Velvet and Jade will square off in a singles bout and Jericho will take on Dax Harwood in a singles bout. Jericho will have Sammy Guevara in his corner, Dax will have Cash in his and every other member of the Pinnacle and Inner Circle have been banned from ringside. Mike Tyson will act as the special guest enforcer, whatever the heck that means. I assume it is his job to keep everyone from interfering?

And it’s time for the main event of the evening! A trios match between the Young Bucks/Moxley and Omega/Good Brothers. I didn’t particularly enjoy this match, but I will enjoy the future ramifications of it.

This match was basically just Matt Jackson vs himself, as he came to terms with his inner turmoil about fighting his former friend. Every time he had a chance to hit Kenny, he didn’t take it. Just as I thought he had gotten over it and started to fight, he went back to not hitting Kenny.

After Jackson refused to execute the BTE Trigger on Omega 3 times, Moxley cracked it and tagged himself in to finish the job. The Young Bucks stop him from hitting Omega and eventually superkick him, laying him out. Omega gets the victory via pinfall.

Eddie Kingston comes out to get the Young Bucks, but is instantly taken out by the Good Brothers. It looks like the Bullet Club is getting back together and the Young Bucks are joining the Dark Side.

Once again, I apologise for the delay in my recap. I hope you enjoyed this weeks episode. See you all soon!

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