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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : Mar 3rd

The Crossroads Episode

Or perhaps it was the Cross Rhodes episode, because we kicked off with the most highly anticipated match of the evening : Cody Rhodes and Red Velvet taking on Jade and Shaq. Diesel Dog Mafia and Cody Cupcake. The greatest feud in pro wrestling history since Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant. I am exaggerating, of course, but it was still a hell of a lot of fun.

It’s no secret that Shaq is enormous. Duh. I’ve watched the NBA my entire life. But seeing Shaq in the ring was crazy. He looked enormous! On your average wrestler, the top rope will sit somewhere on their middle to upper back. On Shaq, the top rope was at his butt!

To my dismay, the mixed tag match had that annoying rule, when one male or female tagged out, the other had to follow suit. I really hate that rule. The ladies can hold their own against the fellas! You mean to tell me that Jade couldn’t go toe to toe against Cody? Admittedly, Shaq probably would have killed Red Velvet, so I guess it was for the best.

With that being said, it was still a really good match. After seeing Snoop Dogg last month, I was very apprehensive about seeing Shaq wrestle. To his credit, he was very solid (literally) in the ring, He more than held his own and was not afraid to get involved in the action. I was really pleased with his efforts. I’m glad he took it seriously and put in the work ahead of time.

Shaq chopped Cody so hard, I’m almost certain that a rib must have been broken. No one can ever question Cody’s bravery ever again. Rhodes was also on the wrong end of a massive power bomb by the big guy. Cody attempted revenge later with a sidewalk slam, but could barely life Shaq. Who could? Props for trying, but if you can’t do it cleanly, don’t do it at all! Still, he did managed to kind of do it, which is impressive in itself.

Austin Gunn (or maybe Colten, I can’t recall) took a cheap shot and clocked Shaq in the back with a chair. I don’t know if Shaq even felt it, he took it like a champ. Then he destroyed the Gunn Club. The referee attempted (half heartedly) to calm Shaq down and it worked.

Red Velvet and Jade got a fair bit of wrestling done as well. Tony was outraged when Jade started to set up a table, but he seemed to have no problem with Gunn’s cheap shot earlier. Hypocrite! Red Velvet added another table to the mix (with some assistance from QT) and we were set for the big bump.

Cody hit Shaq with a shoulder charge, knocking the big guy from the ring, right through the two tables. The tables were absolutely destroyed, Cody and Shaq in the process. Wow. What a bump! It was a tough landing and I’m stunned that Shaq went ahead with that. It was awesome!

With the guys taken out of the match, the ladies got back to work in the ring. Ultimately, Jade took care of business and picked up the win.

After the commercial break, we saw Shaq being loaded into an ambulance. Tony being Tony, decided it would be a good time for an interview. He opened the ambulance door and Shaq was gone?! Diesel had mysteriously vanished into the night, leaving me to believe that we haven’t seen the end of this feud just yet. What a wild opener, that honestly felt like the main event!

Next up we had a quick squash match, Fenix and Pac destroyed the team of John Skyler and the awful Mighty Ducks film, D3. Fenix was in top form and it just made me all the more upset that he won’t be in the ladder match at the PPV this weekend.

The Inner Circle were holding a press conference and were taking questions, mainly about their attack on Papa Buck last week. I couldn’t hear the first question, because the guy wasn’t speaking into the microphone. Something about what being tag team champions would mean to them?

The next question was about whether or not they’d let Sammy Guevara back in the Inner Circle. Jericho yelled at the question and said that he didn’t want to hear about Sammy Guevara. I believe the insults “turkey tits” and “fat head” were given to the question asker. “Turkey tits” had me in hysterics. I’m still laughing now.

They took a few more questions about Papa Buck, MJF insisting that they didn’t attack him, they just defended themselves. MJF would also like compensation for his custom suit that was stained by Papa Buck’s blood. That’s fair enough. I believe Papa Buck was also referred to as “Bitch Ass Pops”. MJF also coined the terms “Malnourished Matt” and “Not so slick, wish my hair was thick, Nick”. Santana reminded everybody that their is not a line that the Inner Circle won’t cross.

Eric Bischoff had the next question and asked where the decision to attack Papa Buck falls in the long list of stupid things that Jericho has done in his life. Finally, the Young Bucks interrupted the press conference. They gave a big spiel about how much they love their dad and that Jericho and MJF wouldn’t have jobs without him. It was basically a long winded way of saying without him, there is no Young Bucks and without the Young Bucks, there is no AEW. I believe they said that MJF would be working on the Rosie O’Donnell show and Jericho would be at an empty performance centre. Both references went over my head.

Finally, it all erupted into a big brawl. Brandon Cutler and the Good Brothers came out to help even the odds. The action was hard to follow, but it all ended with Santana and Ortiz each being put through a table by one of the Young Bucks. At this point, we were about 45 minutes into Dynamite and I felt like I’d seen an entire episode. It was very action packed.

Back to the ring for a wrestling match and it was a 6 man tag. FTR and Tully Blanchard (accompanied by JJ Dillon) were taking on the trio of Jurassic Express. This was Tully’s first match in about 13 years! He held his own fairly well and this was an entertaining match.

Once again, Jungle Boy got one of them to tap out, this time it was Cash. However, Cash wasn’t the legal man and they weren’t in the ring, so the match continued. JB got hit with Dillon’s shoe and it was a near fall. The match continued!

A masked assailant, dressed as a cameraman got a few cheap shots in. First on Jungle Boy and then on Luchasaurus. This was all that FTR needed to get the win. Tully covered Marko and picked up the 3 count. Who was the masked assailant though? It was Shawn Spears! Making his return to AEW! He’s back and he’s blonde! Awesome.

Arn Anderson came out the entrance ramp and hit Tully with the 4 fingered salute, a throwback to their days as the four horsemen. Cool. Tony also came out, I assumed it was to interview Tully, but it was actually just a poorly timed segue.

Tony introduced AEW’s newest signee, Paul Wight. Formerly known as the Big Show. Wight’s t-shirt said “No More BS”, which is a clever play on words and a polite reminder to stop calling him Big Show. Wight was good on the microphone and I’m keen to check out his new show, Elevation. However, in an awkward gaff, he got the name of the upcoming PPV wrong. Not a good start! He called it Evolution, not Revolution. An easy enough mistake, I suppose. We’ll let it slide!

That wasn’t all though! Wight said he had some big news. This weekend, at (R)Evolution, AEW are “signing a hall of fame worthy wrestler” and “it’s not who you think it is”. I don’t spend much time on the internet, so I genuinely have no idea who it is. I am excited though!

The final of the women’s number one contender tournament was next. Nyla Rose taking on Ryo Mizunami. No disrespect to either, but I wasn’t really digging this match. It had an awkward gimmicky start and it kind of lost me from there. I hate it when they do repeat chops in the corner, each weaker than the last and for some reason the receiver acts like they are being hit with a truck each time. Nyla was the victim and acted like she was unconscious, giving Ryo a good 45 seconds to taunt and show off. Not a fan!

I was really hoping that Rose would win and we’d get to see Shida v Rose III. I was very surprised when Ryo actually picked up the win. Unless, Ryo is the surprise signing this weekend, I assume that means Shida’s title reign will continue? 4 more years, 4 more years!

Shida was pleased that Nyla lost and went into the ring to congratulate Ryo. Ryo shook her hand and then got in a cheap shot. My girl Shida had the last laugh though, when she knocked Ryo down on her butt. See you on the weekend, Ryo!

It wouldn’t be Dynamite without another boring and pointless interview between Tony and Sting. Seriously! Are we just going to do this every single week from now on? It’s so boring and dull. I can’t see an end in sight either.

Anyway, Sting is talking about how is prepared for the fight this weekend. Surprise, surprise, he is interrupted. This time, by Starks, not Taz. At least that was new. It ended in the same way though. Team Taz jump Sting and Darby Allin comes to the rescue. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

Dark Order’s 10 is squaring off with “Platinum” Max Caster, the winner getting to enter the 6 man ladder match at Revolution. Caster is one of the only reasons I still watch Dark. If he wasn’t on it, I’d probably cut it out of my life forever. I don’t know why, but Bowens wasn’t at Caster’s side. We still got an epic diss track to kick things off though.

Scorpio Sky joined the commentary team for this match up. It was a pretty solid match and I wasn’t sure who would get the victory. I like being surprised. I would also have been happy with either competitor, even though I was cheering for Max.

Ultimately, Platinum did pick up the win, thanks to some help from an unlikely source. Jack Evans hit 10 in the head with a boombox, which was enough to put him down for the 3 count. Why did Evans interfere? Money, of course. Matt Hardy paid him $4200 to interfere with the match. Hardy has made it his personal mission to ruin the Dark Order.

One final promo before the main event of the evening. Miro is very angry and has vowed to destroy Chuck Taylor this weekend. Miro is a beast.

Main Event time! I’m still weirded out that it wasn’t the mixed tag match. Instead, we get Matt Hardy and Marq Quen taking on John Silver and Adam Page. I feel like this should have been the opener!

It was a pretty solid match. Quen simultaneously took a huge back body drop from Page and Silver. He literally did a full somersault in the air before landing. It was incredible! That’s how you sell a move. Hangman has never looked more powerful. Hangman eventually got the pinfall victory.

After the match, Hardy jumped Hangman and started beating him with a microphone. The Dark Order came to the aid of Hangman. Then, for some unknown reason, half of AEW decided to get involved. It was a sloppy mess and I couldn’t keep up with who was in the ring and who was fighting who. I’m not even going to bother trying to explain what happened. Let’s just call it there.

We are just a couple of days away from Revolution and I am excited out of my mind for it! We’ve got a 6 man ladder match. A tag team battle royale. The big money match. A street fight. 3 titles on the line. An exploding barbed wire death match! And that’s only some of the matches on the card! It’s going to be a great event, I can’t wait! See you all then, Dynamite fans!

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