It’s Wednesday night and you know what that means! It’s time for
Tony to start to interview Sting, only to be interrupted by Taz Dynamite! Buckle up, I got a lot to say on this episode!
The opening match up sees “Hangman” Adam Page teaming up with “Big Money” Matt Hardy, to take on the team of TH2. I thought the Hangman and Hardy pairing was a one night only deal? This would make the second time in as many weeks that the two have teamed up. During the match Excalibur proclaimed “making rules, making babies, is there anything Matt Hardy can’t do?” and (not for the first time in my life) I wondered if I had missed something or if Excalibur simply exists on his own plane of existence. That was not meant as a compliment.
In terms of the actual match, it wasn’t too bad for an opener. Hangman impressed as per normal. Jack Evans seemed to be off his game and botched a couple of moves. He is an exceptional talent though, so I will forgive him. We all have the occasional bad match. Now that I am writing about the match, I can’t recall Angelico doing much of anything in this. Hardy did his usual blind tag in for the win and it almost backfired. I really wish it had. Hardy’s arrogance costing them a victory would have made sense from a writing standpoint, but AEW don’t seem keen on throwing curve balls. When you consider what happened next, it would have made even more sense for the Hangman/Hardy duo to lose.
After the match, it was revealed that Hangman actually switched contracts in the bar the other week. What??? Who saw that coming? Instead of signing a managerial contract, the two of them signed a contract for a match at Revolution! Not only that, but the match has an added stipulation. If Hardy loses, Hangman receives his entire earnings for the first quarter of 2021. In the interest of fairness, Hardy asked Hangman to offer up the same if he loses, to which Hangman agreed. They are calling it the “Money Match”.
After they shook on the match, Hangman was jumped by Isaiah Cassidy, who was dressed up as the Jacksonville Jaguar. Hardy offered TH2 $3700 if they joined in and beat up Hangman. They obliged. Hangman was getting beat like the proverbial government mule, until the Dark Order came to his rescue. Maybe he will join them after all?
One last thing before I move on. I forgot about it and just remembered. When Hardy covered Angelico for the win, Jack Evans was sprawled out on the mat and Hangman was outside the ring. Evans made no attempt to move, but Hangman sprinted in the ring and pushed Evans over, like Evans was attempting to break up the cover. It was really awkward and incredibly amusing.
Alex Marves is backstage with the Inner Circle. Santana and Ortiz are pumped for their first ever title shot and they feel it is long overdue. It’s hard to argue with that, the guys are absolute legends of the game. MJF has some words for Sammy Guevara, the best of those being “why would I record you when there is a camera on us?”. He really is a comedic genius and heel extraordinaire.
Jericho cut him off with a stern warning to shut up. He reminded MJF that we all watch Dynamite and are aware that he goaded Sammy into the attack, and ultimately into quitting the Inner Circle. However, Jericho said that most of the blame lies with Sammy Guevara and that Sammy is dead to him. He warned Alex Marves to never say the name Sammy Guevara in his presence again. Strong, strong words.
It was a really good promo and sometimes I think as wrestling fans, we don’t appreciate how good some of the guys are on the mic. They genuinely make you forget it’s all a work. They have very good acting skills, so shout out to the Inner Circle for that one. And everything they’ve done.
The next match on the cards is part of the Women’s Number 1 contender tournament, Serena Deeb is taking on Riho. It is Riho’s first match in AEW for almost a year! Before we get into this one though, you can (and should) check out the Japanese bracket of the tournament. It is on AEW’s YouTube. The remainder of the first round matches will also be on YouTube on Monday. This annoys me a little bit, I feel that they should be on Dynamite. They deserve a primetime slot. Do we really need to see a squash match between Orange Cassidy and Luther on Dynamite? More on that later.
Deeb v Riho. Wow. What a masterpiece of wrestling this one was. Just incredible. Easily the best match of the night, possibly one of the best matches of the year. These two went hard! Props to Riho for her incredible core strength. She was in a bridge and Deeb jumped onto her stomach, hitting her with a double knee strike. Riho barely buckled. Deeb did it again and Riho still held the bridge! It was astonishing. Riho connected with a double foot stomp from the top rope, right to the midsection of Deeb. I don’t care how small Riho is, that’s still got to hurt. Riho picked up the win, but honestly, what an amazing match this was.
It’s time for another training montage for Jade and Shaq. They are putting in the work for their upcoming match against Cody and Red Velvet. I noticed that they were spending a lot of time working on basketball moves and I’m concerned that Shaq thinks they are playing a game of 2 on 2, not a wrestling match. Someone should clarify that with him so he can start training accordingly. He did manage to sink a 3 pointer though. I rewinded and watched that about 6 times to make sure it was real.
Orange Cassidy vs Luther was the next match on the cards and I really wished it wasn’t. Most of the action involved Chuck and Serpentico taking one another out. The match itself was very short lived and basically a squash match. Cassidy got the win very easily over Luther. I really don’t like how AEW is marketing Cassidy anymore. His power level is over 9000! I miss the good ol’ days when he was just a chill dude who was too lazy to wrestle.
We take a break to quickly recap the last month or so of Darby Allin’s career. So obviously, we see very little of Darby and whole heck of a lot of Sting and Taz. It’s like it’s 1994 all over again. I just picked a random year, don’t fact check me.
After the video ends, Taz is in the ring and calls out Sting. At least we get to skip the Tony/Sting bromance this week. Sting makes his way out to confront them. Even though Sting is outnumbered 4 to 1, (Hook never does anything so really it’s 3 to 1, and Sting and Taz are real old so really it’s 2 to 0?) he throws his baseball bat aside. Tough guy. Then he throws his jacket at Tau’s face. I’m fairly certain he misses entirely and then he gets his ass beat by the trio. Darby does not come to his rescue. Neither does Tony.
Eddie Kingston is looking forward to main event match tonight. He is excited for his chance to exorcise his demons AKA Lance, Fenix and Mox. Especially Mox.
Over to the announce table and JR introduces the WWE Champion, Kenny Omega. Yup. It actually happened. JR said the wrong company. It’s not really surprising, but amusing nonetheless. No disrespect to JR, I just thought it was such a funny oops. Of all the companies as well, it had to be the WWE.
Kenny is reading Killing the Business to a group of pre school (?) children. One of them asks if the Young Bucks are in love. What a laugh! As Kenny gets up to leave, the kids ask if he can stay and play. Don says no, but offers Nakazawa instead. The children start to chant “We hate Nakazawa” and then beat him up. It was amazing. Kenny and Don get outta dodge and leave the AEW championship behind. Just to clarify, Kenny was only there to get a few photos for his public image. His PR agents are working hard! Alex Marves was also there, but was fended off by a toy giraffe.
In the ring, Santana and Ortiz are ready for their title shot. Kenny and his crew are watching the fight on a monitor backstage. They are standing side on the the TV, which Excalibur rightfully points out as being weird, but it wasn’t as weird as when the Young Bucks were watching with their backs turned completely away from the screen. The Inner Circle also are watching from ringside, but are quickly ejected and sent backstage.
I did enjoy this match, but unfortunately it was overshadowed by Excalibur’s poor commentary. It really annoyed me. He did the stupid “1,2, NO!” about a million times. I actually counted though and he did it for 3 straight pin attempts, in what felt like less than a minute. Over that stretch, he did it 4 out of 5 times. Maybe next week, I’ll do a tally.
My daughter (who is 2 years old), sometimes watches AEW with me and has actually started randomly screaming “1,2,NO!”. She does it incessantly, but not as bad as Excalibur. It’s adorable when my girl does it, but I still hate it when Excalibur does it. Off the top of my head, are some alternatives I offer to you, Excalibur. “Santana with the cover, Jackson kicks out at 2” or “This might be it, wow Ortiz somehow kicks out!” or my personal favourite “…”. Just let the pin breathe. Let the ref do the counting, you don’t need to talk non-stop. Also, if you are reading this, Mr. Khan (which sometimes I think you are!) my daughter and I are available to be your new commentary team when the contracts of the current crew expire.
Anyway, the Young Bucks obviously retain their titles and will defend again against Jericho and MJF at Revolution. After the match, the Inner Circle waste no time in coming to the ring and jumping the Young Bucks. Omega and his gang are still watching on the monitors, but don’t really make any move to stop them. Kenny half heartedly suggests it, but Don shoots him down. Brandon Cutler comes out to help and swiftly gets his spine busted by Hager.
Both MJF and Jericho apply submission holds to Nick and Matt. The Young Bucks both tap out, not that it is a sanctioned match or anything. Finally, the Good Brothers come out and the Inner Circle clear off. Not before Jericho gets into it with Mr and Mrs. Jackson, who are at ringside. Mr. Jackson pushes Jericho and should probably be arrested for assault and banned for life from AEW events.
It’s Brandi Rhodes! She says she misses us lots and up next, she will do the gender reveal live on Dynamite. Apparently, Cody doesn’t even know yet. Brandi and Cody make their way to the ring, but they are barely on the entrance ramp when the pyro hits and the jumbotron says “It’s a girl!”. Then Brandi left instantly. It felt very rushed. I thought they’d come to the ring and talk a little bit and do a big reveal, but no. It was more like, ok it’s a girl, now fuck off, we got a match to do. Congratulations though guys, little girls are great!
Cody joins the announce table and there is some awkward chit chat about the gender reveal, which is swiftly silenced and replaced with wrestling talk. Let’s have no more of that baby nonsense! The match he was commentating was FTR vs the Sydal Brothers.
There was a bit too much happening at the announce table and I kind of lost focus in this match, so I can’t honestly say if it was good or bad. It was probably average. Dory Funk was watching in the crowd. Excalibur announced a ladder match for Revolution. It will be a 6 man, with the winner getting a TNT title shot. The competitors so far are Scorpio Sky, Cody Rhodes and Penta El Zero Miedo.
I wonder out loud if I should watch future episodes of AEW in Espanol? My partner points out that she has never seen a spanish announce desk in AEW. That’s a good point. In the WWE, it is right next to the other announce desk. Maybe Excalibur just dubs it over later? “Uno, Dos, NO!”. I shudder just thinking of it. What do you think he would call a suicide dive if he was commentating in spanish?
Anyway, FTR pick up the victory. After the match, they steal Doc Sampson’s medicine bag and get a pair of scissors. Apparently they are hairdressers now, they are always trying to cut people’s hair post match. Fuck the regrowth?. I dunno, it’s the best I could come up with. Before they can give Sydal the snip, the lights go out…
It’s Luchasaurus! And he has a new mask! It’s exactly the same as his old mask! Jungle Boy is there. And Marko. They jump FTR. Dax taps out to Jungle Boy, again. Marko does nothing useful, again. A match is booked next week, Jurassic Express vs FTR. Cool.
Mox is standing in front of a fence, his go to move and is prepping to ramble on about Eddie Kingston. To his credit though, this was actually a good promo. He spoke clearly and was actually captivating to listen to. He spoke on his upcoming match with Kenta and said (I’m quoting here) that he will break Kenta’s neck and put him in the ground. I’m pretty sure that’s murder, pal. First he will deal with Kingston, then Kenta, then Omega.
Main Event time! The team of Lance Archer, Jon Moxley and Rey Fenix are squaring off against Eddie Kingston, The Butcher and The Blade, and are also accompanied by The Bunny. Is Kingston’s crew just called The Family? That’ll do. They need a name. This match wasn’t bad, but it didn’t really matter. Mox pinned Kingston for the victory.
After the match, the Good Brothers came out to give Mox a good ol’ fashioned beatdown. Omega soon joined them and was ready to talk a little smack. The Good Brothers had Moxley held up by his arms. Kenny offered Moxley a rematch at Revolution, but Kenny gets to pick the type of match. It will be an “exploding barbed wire death match”.
I have no idea what that is but I am so fucking excited for it. I cannot wait. Omega and Mox have done some damage together in the past and this sounds like it might be their best bout yet! I can’t wait. It’s only a few weeks away!
So Moxley accepts, in the most Moxley way imaginable – a head butt to Omega! He actually busted him open on this. I don’t think Mox can fake head butt. Remember how he split Jericho open on a head butt bit as well? Not that it worries me, I love how hardcore this company can be. Mox gets a V-Trigger to the face for his troubles. The episode ends.
What an episode and what a recap! Thanks if you stuck with me through this one! We have a lot to look forward to in the lead up to Revolution! Remember to check out the Women’s tournament on YouTube! I’m thirsty, my wrists hurt from typing so much and I have a headache! I’m out.