New Years Smash : Part 1
Happy New Year, wrestling fans! And non-wrestling fans, I guess. You can have a happy new year as well. Tonight is part 1 of 2 of the New Years Smash! We have some awesome matches in store, Snoop Dogg is set to make an appearance and Chris Jericho is in the commentary booth!
Just a quick note before we start. How come the swear words were censored tonight? I watch on FITE and have never had it censored before. Weird. I hope it isn’t the new normal.
The action kicks off with an 8 man tag team match. The Tag Team Champions, The Young Bucks team up with SCU to take on the incredibly talented foursome of TH2 and The Acclaimed. Was that a Marty Jannetty reference made by Platinum in his diss track?
Christopher Daniels picks up the win after combing with Matt Jackson for the Best Meltzer Ever – a combination of the Meltzer Driver and Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Great match to kick things off, as is always the case.
Post match, the 4 victors had a bit of a chat in the ring. SCU said they will always have the back of The Young Bucks, any time they need. Right up until SCU are facing them for the tag team titles.
Moxley returned! I can’t say I missed the man all that much, but gosh darn I missed that entrance. Electrifying! On a positive note, Mox wasn’t mumbling. He was speaking (or yelling) clearly and (sort of) concisely. He got a good zinger in about Don Callis, stating that he looked like a used car salesman, but spoiled the moment by talking too much and going around in circles. Still, welcome back.
Dasha is backstage and interviewing Chuck Taylor and Orange Cassidy. Chuck gives us an update on Trent after the attack by Miro and Kip. Trent has a torn pec and is set to miss 4-5 months. I was hoping they were working an angle, but it looks to be a legitimate injury. That is a damn shame, Best Friends are the hottest thing in wrestling right now. I wish Trent a super speedy recovery and hope he is doing ok.
Miro, Kip and Penelope interrupt the interview and Chuck was not happy. Even Miro’s dope tracksuit didn’t cheer him up. Miro and I need to go clothes shopping together. Chuck and Miro agree to a match next week and if Chuck loses, he has to become Miro’s “Young boy” until after Kip and Penelope’s wedding. If you don’t know, a young boy is basically a beginner wrestler. When they aren’t wrestling, they are carrying bags and tending to the professionals etc etc. Basically a glorified slave. Gulp. Go Chuck!
Hager and Wardlow put on a really decent show. I didn’t know who I expected to win, but I was surprised when Wardlow picked up the victory. After the match, the 2 big men shared a fist bump and it looks like there are no hard feelings. Maybe the big guys just needed to let off some steam. On a side note, the Inner Circle members were watching from the entrance ramp and they are all just effortlessly cool. They are so stylish.
Private Party are having a good time backstage. Speaking of stylish, Cassidy is wearing one of the coolest turtle necks I have ever seen. Snoop Dogg rocks up but the duo have more important business to take care of. Matt Hardy appears with a contact. I assume it is to become their manager in an official manner. Hardy is set to take 30% of their winnings from here on out. PP seem happy enough with the contract, so they sign away their souls. Something tells me they are going to regret this.
It’s time for the weigh in for next weeks TNT Championship match. Brian Cage is accompanied by all the members of Team Taz. Darby is accompanied by his skateboard. He is wearing pink nail polish. I like to do that sometimes as well. As per normal, Taz wouldn’t shut up. It’s infuriating. I guess he wins points as a heel, because I genuinely cannot stand the sight of him anymore.
How do those scales work? They’ve always confused me. This isn’t a critisicim of him (for once) but did Tony actually do anything? It looked like he was just pretending to move the scales. Anyway, I don’t know how they work so I can’t comment. If you know, please tell me in the comments. I’m far too busy (read lazy) to look it up myself.
Cage weighs in at an impressive 272. Darby clocks in at 170, but was still fully clothed. So he is giving up more than 100 pounds. If you’ve watched a wrestling weigh in before, you know that these things always end in a scuffle. It looked like tonight was going to be no different. Darby was ready to take on the entirety of Team Taz by himself. Then the lights went out. The Sting appeared. Again. YAWN. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but how much longer are we going to do this? Every week, it’s the same bit! Just wrestle already.
Backstage, Hager is pretty angry about his loss. You can hear him yelling and wrecking things. MJF is brave and courageous, so he goes to talk the big man down. Surprisingly, he was successful. Hager dishes out his second fist bump of the night. Literally. I’m not being sly, he didn’t punch MJF or anything. A genuine fight bump. Pals. Aw.
Flashback to the episode of Dark last night. If you didn’t see it, Brodie Jr. AKA Negative 1 was talking trash to Marko Stunt. It was pretty amazing. Basically he said Marko is useless and only manages to get wins because Jungle Boy and Lucha always save the day. The two of them had to be separated by other wrestlers and security. Brodie Jr. did not go quietly and went down swinging. What a legend.
So now it is Marko’s turn for an interview. He doesn’t get very far before he is interrupted by FTR. They echo the statements made by -1 and go as far as to call Marko a loser. It’s hard to argue with them. Marko challenges them to a match next week. It will be FTR vs Jungle Boy and Marko. I really hope Marko gets pinned.
Cody is up next and he is being accompanied by Snoop Dogg. Snoop has done a remix of Cody’s song, which Cody walks down to the ring to. It’s not as good as the original, but nothing ever is. The match wasn’t too bad, but it was more of a pop for Snoop. Snoop was allegedly on management duties for Cody and I have never seen someone look more out of place. I thought the Shaq interview was bad. Yeesh. There is just something about celebrities being on AEW that is not working out.
During the match, Cody accidentally punched Serpentico, who was sitting ringside. Luther was not impressed. After Cody picked up the win, he was swiftly jumped by Luther and Serpentico. They also went at Matt Sydal. Snoop watched awkwardly from the sidelines. Eventually, Cody and Matt turned the tables and then Snoop joined in. It was the WORST frog splash I have ever seen. I understand that the man isn’t a trained wrestler (or particularly youthful) but come on! If you are going to deliver a frog splash, at least do it properly! Chris Jericho has the amazing call on commentary of calling Snoop a “9 foot tall piece of human spaghetti”. It’s so effortless for him.
The rematch we have all been waiting for – the AEW Women’s Champion Hikaru Shida taking on the challenger, Abadon. What a match! This thing got started on the entrance ramp before Shida could even take off her robe or belt. Abadon took a kendo stick to the head for her efforts, but was completely unphased. She did the really cool sit up thing.
When the mach officially started, Abadon started biting again. First the thighs. Then, in one of the collect gimmick bits I’ve seen, Abadon dragged Shida under the ring. When Shida emerged, she was bleeding a lot and it looked like Abadon bit her on the neck again.
Aside from the gimmick parts (which were amazing) this whole match as awesome! What a show these 2 put on. Shida picked up the win, but I really hope that we haven’t seen the last of these two facing off.
Tay Conti is coming for you, Serena Deeb. And your NWA Women’s title. The Dark Order are going to have her back as well. I’d watch out if I were you. Conti is the bomb!
Time for the main event. The Champion, Kenny Omega and the challenger, Rey Fenix. Whew. What an amazing display of athleticism and wrestling. I don’t even know what to say about this one. It was incredible. Go and check it out. Some of the moves these guys pulled off was just insane. Kenny retained his title in a tough fought bout, but this episode isn’t over yet.
You ready? Callis and Omega are talking down to Fenix and then ask him to watch the jumbotron. We see a live recording of Penta and Pac being beaten up by Eddie Kingston, the Butcher, the Blade and the Bunny. There is no one to save Rey Fenix.
Then Moxley comes out, with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, to save Fenix. Or maybe just to get Kenny and Callis. Saving Fenix was just a by product of revenge. Callis got out of dodge pretty quickly, but Kenny copped a shot with the bat. I’m all for this feud being reignited.
Then the Good Brothers, Impact! wrestlings tag team champions, came to save Kenny and Don. They quickly turned the tables and Mox was on the wrong end of a beatdown. Jericho was pointing out that it felt like a hostile takeover. All looked lost for Mox. That’s the problem with being a lone wolf, you got not friends to come and save you.
Eventually, the Varsity Blondes tried to save Moxley. They were unsuccessful. Then a bunch of other jobbers tried. I think Fuego Del Sol got thrown through a table. There were bodies everywhere. Absolute pandemonium. It looked like nothing could save Mox.
Enter the Young Bucks. They came out to try and reason with Omega and the Good Brothers. It looked like they were somewhat successful. Until the Varsity Blondes got up and tried to take out Kenny Omega. Omega was saved by the Young Bucks. The crowd went wild. The episode ended with the Bullet Club reuniting in the ring. Is the hostile takeover complete?
What an episode! I love this show. What a great start to what is hopefully another great year in All Elite Wrestling. Impact! too. Wrestling in general. My wrist hurts, so I’m gonna wrap it up. Talk soon!