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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : Dec 16th

We open up with a 6 man tag team match up, the team of “Hangman” Adam Page and Dark Order’s 5 and 6? I think. It was Silver and Reynolds. They are squaring off against the trio of Private Hardy (or Hardy Party if you are that way inclined), Matt Hardy and Private Party, Isaiah Cassidy and Marq Quen. What a mouthful of competitors. It’s not even the biggest one of the evening.

It was an enjoyable match up, but more so from a storyline standpoint. Hangman is still doing the Colt Cabana thing, pretending he isn’t interested in being in the Dark Order, but hanging out with them all the time. Colt didn’t even officially join the cult (see what I did there?), one day he was just a member. Will Hangman follow suit?

Nothing has come of the fact that Hardy eliminated Cassidy at the battle royale and I’m still not sure it even actually happened. Hardy did tag himself in to get the pinfall, even though Quen had it under control. Quen wasn’t impressed with Hardy, but nothing came of it. Hardy’s heel turn seems full speed ahead. Cool.

One last note from the match. Hardy attempted a Twist of Fate on Silver on the outside. It was really sloppy and I realised it is because Silver is so short. Normally, the receiving wrestler would put their feet on the bottom rope, but Silver’s legs were too short. What a laugh. Did they not think about that when they scripted this one?

MJF received a New York Times award for his performance in “Dinner Debonair”. Rightfully so, I might add. That segment was ace. No accolades for Chris Jericho though, who was equally good in my opinion. Jericho made his displeasure at his lack of recognition know and MJF was quick to say that he couldn’t have won it without Jericho.

Cut to the Rhodes house and AEW’s favourite couple (except for Kip and Penelope) are decorating their Christmas tree, with a very cute and fluffy puppy dog. There is a knock at the door and a mysterious gift is left on the door step. When the Rhodes couple open the present, it reveals a pair of baby Gucci shoes and a note saying that Cody and Brandi are expecting a baby in 2021. Yay! Congratulations guys. I hope your child is less of a pain in the ass than my child is.

Speaking of Cody, he is up next, squaring off against Angelico. Did you know that Angelico trained in Mexico? I’m sure you did because Excalibur mentions it EVERY EFFIN’ TIME WE SEE ANGELICO. Ahem.

These two put on a very good showing, not that I expected anything less. Outside the ring, Arn Anderson assaulted Jack Evans. If you need a witness for the court case, I saw the whole thing. Unfortunately, a good match was tarnished with the post match shenanigans, something which is becoming a staple of AEW.

Team Taz made their way out to the ring and as per normal, Taz is angry. I honestly did not take a word in this time. Not one. I couldn’t tell you what he said. I apologise. I’ll try to be more professional next week, no promises though. After he finished ranting, they were about to make their way to the ring to beat up Cody when Sting appeared.

Not sure why Sting came to Cody’s aid. Tony loved it though. “OMG” he proclaimed like an excited teenage girl watching the plot unfold on Home and Away. He also did the “It’s Sting!” bit, which felt tacky and forced. I don’t mean to disrespect the man, but pick your moments.

Anyway, like I said, I’m not sure why Sting came to the rescue again. It seems that everyone wants the TNT championship and nobody cares about the AEW title. I can say with absolute certainty that nobody cares about the FTW title. Absolutely no one.

Miro was fined 75K for his attacks on AEW staff members last week. I think Orange Cassidy will do the right thing and pick up the tab. Miro says that next week on Dynamite he has a huge surprise announcement. He then went on to say that they will also announce a wedding date for Kip and Penelope next week. I’m not sure if that was the surprise or if we are getting an additional surprise announcement next week. I don’t know. Miro ends his interview with a seasonal “Bah Humbug!”. A man after my own heart.

Eddie Kingston is so gangsta. Legit. I love that guy. I’m gonna do the eyebrow thing. Well, not by myself. I’ll get a professional to do it. Otherwise, I might end up with no eyebrows. Like last time. Ugh.

Anyway, Kingston is talking trash to everyone in the locker room, as he is prone to doing. He mentions that Pac has a neck injury and has scurried back home. He has a crack at Lance Archer and then Lance Archer comes out to the ring. Ready for the chaos?

Archer jumps Kingston. The Butcher, The Blade and The Bunny come to rescue Kingston. Except that The Bunny just watches from outside. Eventually the trio get the better of Archer. Then the team of Death Triangle comes out to the aid of Lance Archer. Then Lance and Pac get into it over who gets to kick Kingston’s butt. Everyone hates everyone. Classic.

Dustin is still mad at Evil Uno for inviting him into the Dark Order and for (correctly) stating that he is the third most important Rhodes member in AEW. They are going to fight next week.

Orange Cassidy joins the commentary team for the next match. Even though he doesn’t say anything and I’m fairly certain that he falls asleep, he was the best commentator for the evening. He is commentating on the 12 man tag team match! Are you ready? Inner Circle (minus Wardlow) are squaring off against the team of Best Friends, Varsity Blondes and Top Flight.

These matches are basically always a hot mess and really hard to follow. This match definitely got a little chaotic, but it was actually pretty decent. I was surprised. You got to see a little bit of everyone (not much Hager though) and it was pretty enjoyable.

Sammy and Dante stole the show with their potion of the match against one another. It was awesome. We had some call backs to the Parking Lot Brawl between Best Friends and Proud N Powerful, which was amongst the best matches in AEW this year. Definitely the best feud. Inner Circle won this one, MJF tagged in for the victory.

Thunder Rosa is mad at Britt Baker. Rebel comes out and lets Rosa know that she has a terrible laugh. If you’ve seen the Waiting Room and heard Rebel’s laugh, you know why that’s funny. Whilst Rebel is distracting Rosa, Baker jumps her from behind. Britt and Rebel proceed to wash Rosa’s face paint off and then leave her unconscious on the floor. Not before Britt makes sure that Rosa’s ugly face didn’t break the camera. Britt’s heel turn was the greatest decision AEW have made so far. It’s been perfect. Could you imagine a world without the Waiting Room?

The next match is another tag team match up, SCU taking on the up and coming team of The Acclaimed. SCU come out just in time for a commercial break. Christopher Daniels try to engage the fans a little bit, but it feels awkward with only a handful of people in attendance. Props to him for trying to engage them though. He attempts to start a “Safe and Healthy” chant. It didn’t really take off, although a couple people did try and start it again as the commercial break ended.

Here comes my new favourite tag team, The Acclaimed. I’d be straight up lying if I said that Platinum’s diss tracks weren’t the thing I most look forward to every episode. My dreams finally came true. We got a rap battle! Frankie Kazarian stepped up to the plate and attempted some bars of his own, which weren’t too shabby.

However, The Acclaimed won the rap battle and went on to win the match. Even though it took an alleged cheap shot for the victory (I didn’t see nothing!), I love that they won and I love SCU for putting the young guys over. Take notes, Dustin. The bars continued and Max took aim at the Young Bucks once again, challenging them to a title match next week! Yes! I think it was just last week I said that The Acclaimed need a title shot.

Frankie Kazarian had an argument with Christopher Daniels after the loss and stormed out of the ring. I think Tony made note of Kazarian being a hot head and unable to control his temper, which I have never noticed ever before. I wonder if something will come of this or if it will just be like when Vicki slapped Nyla?

Backstage, Top Flight challenge MJF and Jericho to a tag team match next week. I admire their chops, but they will get creamed. Should be a good showing though.

The very established (and only?) women’s tag team of Ivelisse and Diamante are taking on the very unestablished tag team of Big Swole and the NWA women’s champion, Serena Deeb. Ivelisse and Diamante should have won this match, but obviously they didn’t. To add insult to injury, Diamante lost via submission. Ouch.

Afterwards, the Vicious Vixens jumped the winning duo. They were saved by Fake Brandi AKA Red Velvet. Who cares? At least Vicki looks like she is having a blast. It’s good to see her smiling. I thought Nyla would be pushing to get back into a feud with Shida, not a feud against Red Velvet. Surely Nyla has a bigger ceiling than this?

A new podcast is announced (very rudely, in full screen over the top of the aforementioned match) called Wrestling with the Week. It is hosted by one of the Rooster Teeth boys and Scorpio Sky. It’s not just a wrestling podcast, but will feature AEW recaps. It debuts on January 18th and will air once a week.

Best Friends said that their feud with Proud and Powerful will never be over (YES!), but right now they have business with Kip and Miro. They said that they are very excited for the wedding announcement next week and plan to be in attendance. I love the Best Friends.

For some reason we were shown a highlight reel of Jurassic Express. FTR weren’t happy about it. Dax couldn’t stop breathing angrily into a headset.

Now for the main event of the evening and by gosh, what a disappointment it was. When I heard that it was going to be a No DQ match between Kenny Omega and Joey Janela, I was so excited. I’m sure you all remember the last one! It was a make up match for round one of the eliminator tournament. If Joey wins, he gets a title match in the future.

What a letdown this match was. First of all, we only had about 15 minutes left. 5 of which were wasted on Kenny’s entrance. Joey cut it a little bit short with a trash can hit, but not short enough. Then we had to watch/listen to Don Callis and Tony argue about who was going to call the match. Callis ended up calling the match with a microphone, over the top of the commentary team who were calling the match from the desk. It was an awkward and noisy mess.

Kenny then started doing his own version of play by play, during the match, but it wasn’t anywhere near as good as it should have been. Kenny did a moonsault on Janela with a trashcan, but the camera angle was so poor that we missed the hit. Joey hit Kenny with a leg drop through a table, I think Joey actually landed on Kenny’s face though. Ouch.

Overall, this match was a huge letdown. It was rushed. There were hardly any decent spots. No blood. The production was an absolute mess. The camera work wasn’t great. The dual commentary thing was just noisy and unappealing. Such a huge letdown. Obviously, Kenny won.

I don’t think that Kenny being a heel is really working out. I love the man, I really do. But he is awkward on the mic. From what I’ve seen, he always has been. It’s cute when he is a face. It doesn’t work as a heel though. Heels need to be charismatic. I guess we will see what happens next.

Death Triangle came out after the match. Apparently they re feuding with everybody. Pac announces on December 30th (the Dynamite after next) Rey Fenix will get a shot at the AEW World Championship. I really hope that it is a good match. I’m worried that Omega is getting into a slump, just like Mox did when he was the champ.

Oh yeah, before I go! I didn’t watch Impact! this week. I was too busy playing Cyberpunk. I’ll try and catch up with it today. Apparently the Omega episode had a viewer increase of around 33% though. That’s promising!

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