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Wrestling

AEW Dynamite : Dec 9th

The action is set to kick off instantly, with the talented team of TH2 in the ring already, awaiting their opponents, the Young Bucks. Just prior to kick off, we are shown an interview with the Young Bucks. They don’t say a heck of a lot, just that they haven’t spoke to Kenny in a while. They are very happy for him though.

I can’t put into words how entertaining and excellent this tag team match was. It was very, very good. Phenomenal even. Both of these teams are in excellent form lately. The doomsday device on the outside was brutal. That Jack Evans sure knows how to take a hit. They all do. I was really hoping that TH2 would get the win, but it wasn’t to be. I just wanted them to get a title shot, I feel they’ve earned it.

MJF gave a quick promo and said how much he misses his ring. Oh, and he is going to bash Cassidy’s brains in.

Darby Allin sent in another video, this time he didn’t hurt himself or anyone else. Still managed to be weirdly amusing though. This time he was sitting with a therapist (I very much doubt his credentials are legitimate) and doing a Rorschach test. Darby only sees other wrestlers, probably because the ink blots looked just like other wrestlers.

Tony Schiavone could at least pretend he is a professional. He has been in the wrestling industry since 1983 and wears sweatpants to an interview with Sting. Honestly, man. I know it’s cold but have some personal pride. Cody is there and wearing an exquisite 3 piece suit. Sting looks incredible in his gear. And you are standing there in sweat pants and an oversized vest. Respect the industry, please.

Cody was interrupted by Sting before he could even say a word. Despite Cody’s wishes, Sting isn’t in AEW for him. At least not yet. Sting wants Baby Sting AKA Darby Allin. He didn’t actually call him Baby Sting. The fans were going wild for Sting.

Team Taz promo. I say it every week, but Taz is seriously holding these guys back. Ricky was looking suave in a turtleneck and a lovely brown jacket. I can’t remember what they were saying, mainly because I have a tendency to zone out whenever Taz is speaking.

FTR beat the Varsity “Blondes”, in their first match back since they lost the belts at Full Gear. It was a decent enough match, nothing really jumped out at me though.

Hangman is hanging at the bar, surprise surprise. He has a 6 man tag match next week on Dynamite, but he doesn’t have any partners yet. Enter the Dark Order. Looks like he will be teaming up with Silver and Reynolds, who were both wearing cowboy hats. Apparently it is a one time deal and he is not joining the Dark Order. Yeah yeah, Colt Cabana said the same thing. The match next week will be against Private Party and Matt Hardy. Private Hardy?

In the match nobody asked for, Dustin Rhodes defeated Dark Order’s 10. His twitter handle is Pres10Vance. I like that. After the match, Evil Uno came out to try and recruit Dustin. Dustin refused via a slap to the face. Rude. Evil Uno left and said that the offer still stands.

We got a very awkward interview between Tony, Brandi and Shaq. Yeah, that Shaq. I don’t know what else to say except that it was awkward and nobody seemed comfortable. Maybe it’s because Tony was dressed like I am when I watch the football on Sunday.

Inner Circle came out to the ring to decide if they are staying together. They decided they would. Ortiz came to vouch for MJF and Sammy shook his hands. Any more drama though and Sammy said he is going to quit. Where is Santana these days? I miss him.

FTR are backstage and talking about their loss to the Young Bucks at Full Gear. I assume the rematch is close.

Up next was the 6 man tag match between Eddie Kingston’s gang and The Lucha Bros featuring Lance Archer. I’m still not sure why it was Lance Archer instead of Pac. Wouldn’t it make more sense for it to be Death Triangle? Anyway, Jake Roberts came out with Lance Archer and he looked like he was auditioning for an episode of Fat Pizza or something. Is that show coming back?

Prior to the start of the match, Butcher put Penta El Zero Miedo through a table. Penta was carried backstage. I thought they were overselling it a bit, but it turns out that Penta was actually injured a couple weeks ago and still isn’t cleared to wrestle. There is no timeline on his return, but I hope it’s a speedy recovery. It hasn’t been the best year for the Lucha Bros in terms of injuries.

Team Eddie win via pinfall on Rey Fenix. Post match, Lance Archer was giving them a bit of a beat down. For some reason, Jake Roberts was really sweaty and puffed. I didn’t actually see him do anything and am genuinely concerned for his health.

Jade and Brandi were getting into it backstage and were promptly joined by a handful of other wrestlers. I wasn’t sure who was on what team or even who was there. It happened very fast.

Abadon destroyed Tesha Price in a match. After the match, Abadon was slamming Price’s head into the mat, over and over again. Take notes, Archer. That’s how you do it. It looked genuinely violent, unlike when you do it! Shida came out to save Tesha and smacked Abadon right in the head with a kendo stick. Abadon took that hit like a champ. Then, when she was sprawled out on the floor, she did the cool sit up thing, just like ‘Taker used to do. It was awesome. I can’t wait for the title match between my girl, Shida and my favourite up and coming female, Abadon.

Backstage, the Inner Circle state that they will be ringside for MJF’s match later in the evening and have guaranteed a MJF victory.

Outside the stadium, Kenny Omega and Don Callis arrive in a helicopter. Marves pops up for an interview (where does he keep coming from?) but is told to wait for the interview like everyone else.

Kenny makes his way to the ring and his entrance is just as long as ever. This time he has 4 cleaning ladies instead of the 2. They have gotten much better at being synchronised with their sweeping. Synchronised sweeping will be the next big olympic event.

If you were hoping for some answers from Kenny and Don, you were left very disappointed. They literally just used the same speech they gave on Impact the day before, almost word for word. Just as Kenny was about to tell us the surprise, Don told him not to. Last week on Dynamite they said we’d get answers on Impact. On Impact they said we would get answers on Dynamite. On Dynamite they said we aren’t getting answers. What is happening?

AEW have released the holiday schedule. December 23rd will be the Holiday Bash episode of Dynamite. The following two weeks will be part 1 and 2 of the New Year Smash. Nice. Jericho is working commentary for part 1 and Snoop Dogg is a special guest for part 2.

MJF and Cassidy took to the ring for the main event. Inner Circle accompanied MJF and the Best Friends were in Cassidy’s corner. Realising that they were outgunned, they went backstage to get some reinforcements. The real wrestlers must have been busy, because they only found the Varsity Blondes, Brandon Cutler and Top Flight. I’m kidding, they are all great! Especially Top Flight.

Obviously, with all of that testosterone on the outside, things got a little hectic. With the referee distracted, Miro and Kip made there way to the ring. Miro destroyed Cassidy and MJF got the win, getting his ring back in the process.

This match was ok, but it felt like it should have been Jungle Boy’s match, not Cassidy’s. All due respect to Orange, I think he is immensely talented and is obviously over with the fans. For me though, I think he is better behind the Best Friends. It’s hard to have a comedic wrestler be taken so seriously. Especially when his whole bit is that he doesn’t care about anything. How are we supposed to believe that he wants the championships when he doesn’t want anything? It just doesn’t work.

Also, Excalibur used the stupid “1,2, NO!” about a hundred times during this match. He even ruined a couple false finishes because of it. He is very bad at commentary. When the ref is counting a pin, be quiet and comment on it later. The commentary team needs to get away from their repetitive and dull scripts. You guys are wrestling fans, act like it!

That’s all for Dynamite this week. I’ll be back to talk about wrestling next week for Impact and Dynamite. If I can afford it, I’ll cover Final Resolution for Impact this weekend. If not, I’ll just be playing Cyberpunk 2077.

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