Movies & TV

Haunted (Netflix Season 1)

Considering we are well into October, I thought I might spend some time writing about spooky movies and television shows. I do love a good horror after all. Please forgive any spelling or grammatical errors. My computer is being weird, so I’ve don’t this whole post from my phone. The power of technology! The format is different though and I can’t see as well. Go easy on me!

I decided to start with Haunted, a documentary (I repressed the urge to throw that in quotation marks” about supernatural events, told from the point of view of those who experienced it. The 6 episode first season was released in October of 2018. Yes, I know I’m late to the party. Each episode only runs about 20-25 minutes though, so you can easily smash a season out in one night. Well, at least you could time wise. Binge watching this was a bit harder in terms of entertainment. I did it over 2 nights.

Originally, I was going to do this episode by episode and I suppose I still could but a) it’s not worth my time and b) apparently Netflix plays anthology shows in a different order for different people. That’s not a big deal, except I’m huge numbers guys. I can’t write an article called “Haunted : Episode 1” and have it be about episode 4. That would keep me up at night and perhaps was the scariest thought that this show evoked. Did you guys know that Netflix did that? I don’t like it, I wish it was optional or something. I like things to be in order. You should see my house.

The first episode I got to see was actually the last episode. It was not a good episode to start on. Or finish on for that matter. Or at all. Basically, a girl was given a tombstone by her boyfriend. She didn’t want it and they broke up immediately. She kept the tombstone and the ghost became her protector. Until she got married. Then it was jealous and made her want to kill her husband. They split up and she ends the episode by telling her husband that she doesn’t love him anymore. We don’t find out if she is still haunted by the ghost. If she loves the ghost. We barely find out anything. And it just ends on some weird cliffhanger.

Honestly, every episode pretty much followed that same story line. Bad childhood, supernatural event, move away and think that it’s all over, supernatural event returns, episode abruptly ends. We don’t get anymore details or facts. Nothing to really verify any of it. Plus it all feels so forced. They sit around a room like it’s an intervention and just drone away, telling their story. There are usually tears shed and I think you are supposed to feel sorry for them, but I don’t. I want to say it’s because they are bad actors, but technically they aren’t actors? Or are they? Who knows? Something is off though.

The best episode was called Woman in White. It followed the same formula, but I at least managed to connect to the guy telling the story and it was a really good horror story. Right up until the end, when for no reason the paranormal starts up again and the episode ends bluntly. Slaughterhouse was also an ok episode, but I did not understand the characters motivations at all. If it was real, why would they keep going back to their father? Why would they have their own kids around him? Why would the grandson move into the haunted house and stay there? I don’t understand any of that at all.

I’m struggling to remember the other 3 episodes and I’m genuinely straining my brain to try and recall them. It was only last night I watched them. There was a generic alien invasion episode. 2 more…nope I’m getting nothing. I’m going to check wiki, back in a second. That’s right! I forgot the two basement episodes. One had an uncle who liked to do occult rituals in the basement. The other boy had 3 spirits living in the well of his basement.

I feel mean criticising the people in the show, especially if they are legitimately true stories. I believe in the supernatural and paranormal things. I really do. So I don’t understand why these episode aren’t longer? If it’s real, give us some details to verify it! And if it’s fake, make some details up! Give us names, locations, dates, police reports, photos, anything! Anything to help verify your story and make it believable. Everything feels so vague. The only “evidence” we ever get are some alleged childhood drawings. If it was real, the vibe I got was it was all made up to help them cope with their childhood trauma. The mind is an amazingly powerful tool. There’s the old psych student in me coming out.

I still don’t know how legitimate this show is, but I tend to lean into it all being made up. Maybe not all, but at least mostly. According to the show’s Wikipedia page, it is a “pseudo documentary”. Honestly, I don’t mind either way, but I hate being lied to. Ask Joaquin Phoenix and he will verify that. If it’s a fake documentary, just say so. And if it’s real try and be… more real? I don’t know. At least present some evidence and facts. It definitely felt off though. Apparently season 2 is better, I will give that a watch and let you know. The things I do for you guys. With the exception of the “Woman in White” episode, I’d give this show a miss. Even then, I wouldn’t go out of your way to see it.

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