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It’s Father’s Day

And I want my cake

Here in Australia, it’s Father’s Day. I’ve decided to take a day off from writing (mostly) and spend it with my family. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still be watching basketball and wrestling and all the other good stuff. I’m just taking a day off the analytics and spending the day just being a fan and, most importantly, a father. I’ll be back tomorrow to recap everything that has happened.

I just wanted to wish a Happy Father’s Day to myself, my dad, my brothers, friends, family and all the other good fathers out there. It’s not easy being a dad, but it sure is a lot of fun. It’s a lot of hard work, it takes dedication, commitment and love. Your child can often be unappreciative. I know that as a former child and a parent. I know that children can be absolute monsters. It’s all worth it though. Trust me! My Dad did a pretty damn good job and has set me up to do the same for my daughter.

There are countless fathers in this world. A lot of them are characters in books or movies. I’m sure many of them makes us laugh, inspire us, scare us and everything in between. I could spend all day speaking of my inspirations as a father. I don’t have time thought, so I want to give a quick shout out to two of my inspirations as a father (not including my own or myself, I am my own biggest inspiration after all).

Firstly, Jack Torrance from The Shining. Brought to life on the screen by the wonderful Jack Nicholson. Those of you who know me will know how much I adore Jack Nicholson. What a legend. I usually hate it when an actor shares a first name with the character they are portraying, but in this case I will gladly make an exception.

“Here’s Johnny!” just hearing that as a child was enough to make me cry. I’d never seen that movie at that stage, but I remember the song by Hocus Pocus. Gosh, how it used to scare me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that song since. Seriously, it terrified me. I might give it a listen today. It’s probably garbage.

Obviously, I’ve seen the movie many times in my life. I adore it. I’m actually in the process of teaching my daughter to say “REDRUM”. She’s nearly got the hang of it. Let’s have a look at some of the quotes from Jack Torrance that make him a loving husband and one of the greatest fathers ever.

“Wendy, darling, light of my life. I’m not gonna hurt you. You didn’t let me finish my sentence. I said, I’m not gonna hurt you. I’m just going to bash your brains in.”

“Here’s to five miserable months on the wagon and all the irreparable harm it has caused me”

What a legend. Too bad my girlfriend has banned me from accepting any caretaker jobs in Colorado.

My favourite on screen father was portrayed Jon Lormer. I am, of course, talking about Nathan Grantham from a little known film from 1982, called Creepshow. You may of heard of it!

All he wanted was some cake. It was Father’s Day after all. Too bad he had an ungrateful daughter, who bludgeoned him to death. All he did was politely ask when his cake would be ready. Rude!

When I found out I was going to be a father, I was so excited that I could finally quote this film on Father’s Day. It’s the little things in life. I know for sure that I will be watching Creepshow again today.

All right, I’m out of here. I’m gonna go enjoy the day with my family. Please don’t call child services, this article was just a bit of fun. I’m actually a good father! Really! Happy Father’s Day to all.

“Where’s my Father’s Day cake? I want my cake you dirty bitch!”

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